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Welcome to our energy price calculator which helps find the better deals for you. The calculator searches our available gas and electricity tariffs and picks out the cheapest based on the energy you use.

1) Choose one of the following tariffs which best suits you and your needs:

jumpers british gas plan

2) Go to your nearest clothes store and ask for the tariff which most closely matches your choice

3) Now shut the f**k up about how you can’t afford to heat your home. We really really really couldn’t give a shit. Got it?


Related articles by Tom Pride:

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Frozen pensioners contain higher levels of vitamins and antioxidants say scientists

Mandelson adviser’s close links to energy firms revealed

Massive countrywide whip-round to buy plane tickets after Centrica threatens to quit UK

83% feel energy suppliers maximise profits at expense of consumers

Militant unions hold country to ransom with threat of blackouts! Oh wait a minute …..

Let’s get this straight. Foreign energy firms are threatening to cut us off if we don’t pay up

The government’s allowing our water, gas and electricity to be sold to the Chinese and no-one seems to be noticing

Never mind a UK referendum on ceding power to Brussels. What about China?

David Cameron stands by plan to reduce energy bills with more hot air


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