Tags
(satire?)
- Study finds two out of three grannies’ bodies contain more nutrients if frozen to death
- Experts say freezing old people prevents cancer and aids the body, brain, skin and eyes
- Results demonstrate frozen pensioners less likely to experience painful illnesses such as arthritis
- Government planning to encourage more pensioners to freeze themselves to death this winter
Frozen pensioners and old people can be healthier, with higher levels of vitamins and cancer fighting antioxidants in their bodies than senior citizens who are still alive according to government experts.
Two studies for the Department of Health found more beneficial nutrients in the bodies of everything from frozen grandfathers and grannies to great aunts and uncles.
In two out of three cases, frozen pensioners scored better on measurements of antioxidant-type compounds – including Vitamin C, polyphenols, anthocyanins, lutein and beta-carotene – than those OAPs who were still warm and alive.
Many of the anti-oxidant compounds found in frozen pensioners are considered beneficial in preventing cancer and supporting the working of the body, brain, skin and eyes – a result which is leading experts to recommend families should consider freezing elderly relatives who are most at risk of life-threatening diseases.
A spokesperson for the Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt said the government was doing all it could to save the NHS millions of pounds unnecessarily treating avoidable illnesses by making sure energy prices are so high old people have no alternative but to freeze themselves to death this winter.
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Is it just me or is there a connection between frozen pensioners and the direction taken in a recent British Gas Q and A?http://www.hrgrapevine.com/markets/hr/article/2013-10-18-british-gas-recruit-for-senior-media-manager-position-during-disastrous-twitter-qanda/?utm_source=Sign-Up.to&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=7962-304983-HRM+Spotlight+People+Moves+18%252F10%252F2013#.UmEedualM70.facebook
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i’ll email the un, and ask if the are willing to send over a team of inspectors, to give winter warming tips….
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2011/oct/22/older-people-cold-energy-bills
http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2013/03/dying-of-the-cold-a-very-british-disease/#disqus_thread
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Who says euthanasia is dead, its never been so “alive”.
Andy
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Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
Can’t add anything to this.
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is it me or have i missed something? what the hell is the point of freezing peoples elderly relatives to avoid them getting arthritis etc???? why bother? they wont be. if thery are frozen it dont matter whether they do or dont get anything. stupid sods. whatever next? harebrained or what…..ok if i did get this wrong please someone tell me. cos i feel i might be next ..pass the ice please.lol.
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Reblogged this on nearlydead.
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I remember Tory mp Edwina Curry telling the elderly who could not afford heating bills to wear hat’s and scarves when sitting about at home. Why have central heating if they can’t afford to use it?
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Hurrah, a cure for arthriitis at last. Keep voting Tory if you feel cold.
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So that might solve the foodbanks problem. Take your frozen granny to the nearest foodbank. It is not funny, as I am a 75yr old great granny, and I wouldn’t mind doing my bit!
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poor people should sell there bodys to people like me.
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