(not satire – it’s the UK today!)

Finnish students are ranked as the best educated in Europe – way ahead of the UK when it comes to educational competence.

Interestingly, Finnish pupils don’t start school until they’re 7 years old and aren’t formally tested at all until they’re 16.

The UK government meanwhile has recently announced that children in UK schools should start being formally tested from the age of 5.

Finnish schools also have one of the highest teacher/student ratios in the world – whereas the UK is ruthlessly cutting its teachers and teaching staff.

And just this week, Education Secretary Michael Gove’s close adviser Dominic Cummings argued that education, schools and teachers are mostly irrelevant because intelligence is mainly genetic.

So Gove and the coalition government clearly believe that no matter what we do, British children will always do worse at school than Finnish children because we’re just naturally thicker than those clever Finns?

Well, they can speak for themselves.

Mind you, this does of course explain why the government has been so keen to cut education funding to a minimum and turn schools into profit-making enterprises rather than places of educational excellence.

Because after all, if we can’t educate kids – we might as well make a handsome profit from them.

Does everyone realise these idiots are actually in charge of our childrens’ education?

I suggest being afraid – very afraid.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

How The Gove Stole Summer (with apologies to Dr. Suess)

Plans to test 5-year-olds is not the coalition’s worst policy – but it’s definitely their stupidest

Gove announces plan to phase out teaching in schools

EXCLUSIVE – leaked sample questions from Michael Gove’s new GCSE Mathematics examination

Bonkers Tories expect 4-year-olds to be ready for employment, university and “hard problems in calculus”

Gove – children to start learning to hate school from age of 5

Gove unveils new GCSEs with emphasis on cold baths and six of the best from a well-oiled cane

Toby Young – disabled children should be excluded from schools

BBFC – Michael Gove ‘too scary’ for under-12s

New English Bacchanalian exam to focus on core subjects of drinking, swearing and fighting

Act Of Gove: an event beyond human control – often of a destructive nature – for which there is no legal redress

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