(satire?)
One million of Britain’s lowest paid employees are to be classified as “not wretched enough” and could find themselves pushed with the threat of sanctions to find more reasons to be miserable under radical changes to welfare, the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has said.
DWP internal documents seen by Pride’s Purge reveal that people earning between £330 to around £1,050 a month could be mandated to feel absolutely shit about themselves and forced to be more dejected about their lives as part of the Universal Discredit (UD) programme.
Some of those deemed to be “not wretched enough” could also be instructed to take on extra despondency training – and if on completion they fail to become completely disconsolate they could be stripped of their UD benefits in a move which departmental insiders conceded is “controversial”.
The DWP said that overall plans to cause even more hardship and distress for those in low-paid work were not yet fully worked out and they recognised that supporting working families to find ways of increasing their unhappiness was a “complex” area into which the state hadn’t previously intervened.
A spokesperson for Iain Duncan Smith said:
It’s clear that there isn’t any real clear, definite plan as to how we can make poor people even more miserable. But as we’re a bunch of c**ts – we’re prepared to give it a good go anyway.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
On-the-spot fines for being common or poor come into force
Jamie Oliver is right! A giant TV can feed a family of 4 for a week!
Parliament backs plans to cull paupers
Angry police seek right to kettle themselves
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
.
If you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Pride's Purge 
Pingback: Million of UK's lowest paid employees to be cla...
This sounds like another of IDS’s cracked idea’s
LikeLike
I’m one of the poorly pensioned old sods, falling halfway beetween that income range, but I’ll NEVER be as wretched of spirit as that old thumb sucker IDS and his cronies. So there, you horrible Govt oicks, do your bloody worst (blows raspberry and runs away laughing).
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Vox Political.
LikeLike
Oh Woe is me. Me is well and truly Woe. I never knew I could be so Woeful but this DWP stuff is doing its job…and Woefulness is my sorry lot! There…that satisfy you Mr JCP Sanction Tw*t? (of course..I’m one of those scrounging lying buggas..and just faking my feelings of Woe to appease the c**ts..lol)…
LikeLike
this is what i have always understood UC to be any case, which already incorporated “not working enough” so why now are the dwp marketing this, as if, it is a separate and therefore new policy…
LikeLike
ps
obviously because jobs are in short supply, and rapidly becoming scarcer, and the marrying up of more than one job to fit reasonably, (for all previously expressed reasons), into a daily timescale, this policy will increase unemployment further (jobs fight club) and push millions into even more desperate poverty…
LikeLike
Can InDeepShit actually talk from experience on making the poor even more poor? Does he know something we don’t? Is this a central platform of his Centre for Social Justice? Can we just go and fuck this cretin over, now, please, with weapons and sticks and hot tar and smoke and disease – InDeepShit is DEEP SHIT
LikeLike
Reblogged this on HUMAN RIGHTS & POLITICAL JOURNAL.
LikeLike
Matey, I’m with you all the way – if I ever have the good fortune to meet “Idiot Drunken Smith” I swear I will knock hiss a*s out good style but only if I’m in a good mood because if I’m in a bad one I’ll give him concrete wellies, beat him to a pulp & hoss his ass in the Thames with all the other garbage……
LikeLike
Its almost as if they want to provoke rioting on the streets… but they underestimate the cr*p that the stiffed-lipped British population will endure.. (sadly).
LikeLike
Government schemes have failed to find the unemployed work, so they are noow hoping with their latest craze to earn ‘loads of money’ failing to find the employed extra work. You couldn’t make it up!
LikeLike
Another great idea from a government that sneaked in by joining forces with their opponents! I’m 56, been out of work for 2yrs after taking the obviously selfish decision to leave work to help care for my dying father. And of course I don’t want to work as have the massive sum of £130 a month to live on after water payments,, bedroom tax and council tax deducted from jsa, but when not watching jeremy kyle and smoking and drinking etc i do apply for jobs, even get to interview stage but there is the problem of all these youngsters applying for same jobs,how dare they,they should be working for free surely? Well, they now want me to do IT course to help me find job, that should do it, bound to get a job in an area I’ve never worked in if I complete a course. But at least it will make me feel even more worthless than I do now, which is their objective. There is a bridge just over the road from me, might have to jump off it in the winter for bit of exercise to warm myself cos i won’t be able to afford to heat this house I am being greedy enough to live in on my own even tho has 3 bedrooms, only paid rent on it for 30yrs so shouldn’t feel its my home really.Oh, and please keep this quiet, I have couple of cats which are good at catching mice so really i should be making mouse pies for my dinner, they pay me far too much as i don’t need to buy luxuries like food. And 1 cat is black, so will probably be classed as a witch and burned or dunked in the river til i drown and prove I’m not!
LikeLike
Bunch of f***ing hypocrites! Thought the idea was to make working people better off! What they failed to mention was that the only job to qualify for this was to be an MP and claim copious amounts of expenses, anything and everything will qualify……. new toothbrush……£37.50……no problem….how would you like it paid? Oh yes, take the money from all those people pretending to do a days work while they’re busy watching 130 inch flat screen tv’s and feasting on large cod and chips while they count the days until their months holiday in the Maldives!They wouldn’t know how to use one anyway!
LikeLike
The whole system stinks. I am 51 and recently returned to work after 12 months of unemployment during which I could not claim a penny in JSA because my last boss had done a bunk and not paid my NI for 12 months, and I am lucky enough to have kept a husband for 35 years and had our 4 children young so they are all grown up and doing very well living their own lives. My husband works very hard and cycles 7 miles to work and back every day in all weathers for little more than we would receive were we both out of work yet it was too much for us to be entitled to Working Tax Credits, we did however get some help with our rent – Whoopee!. Anyway, I hoped a new job as a mobile care assistant would relieve some of the financial pressure and help my self esteem. Who cared if it was minimum wage and horrendoulsy long hours with travel time between calls not paid. I can be out of the house from 6.45am til 10pm but only receive 7 hours pay because I get a couple of one hour breaks and the rest of the time is spent driving between clients which means I don’t even actually acheive minimum wage. I am on a zero hours contract so daren’t say anything as I will end up with even fewer hours. The government should be stepping in and bringing unscrupulous care providers who flout minimum wage laws and operate zero hour contracts to account.. They should also be asking themselves if it is right to pay carers national minimum wage and consider a higher rate for all health care workers. It is only because the vast majority of carers care deeply about the people in their care and love their jobs that they continue providing an invaluable service to the sick and elderly, despite the shocking conditions.
As for helping with my self esteem – knowing there are thousands of carers out there suffering exactly the same insulting treatment from employers goes some way to making me feel better. But this Governments apparent ignorance of what is really going on in this country makes my blood boil!
LikeLike
chess was “thumb” the right word you was looking for……….
LikeLike
I know the value of a good carer and how hard the job must be. my dad had dementia and although came across a couple of carers who needed to check on the definition of the word ‘care’ the majority where brilliant. There is no way a carer should be on minimum wage, let alone zero hr contract. I hope things improve for you, you’re doing a job that you should be proud of and the pay should reflect how important you are.
LikeLike
I think the carers should be criticizing the amount their bosses charge for these private run care homes too. The elderly in the home where my mother who has alzheimers resides looks more like a battery hen farm, squashed into a small single room with a toilet, a communal tv room that barely accommodates it’s residents let alone visitors and an outside patio type area you couldn’t swing a cat round in. For this she is charged £326 per week and the care assistants are on minimum wage and are perfunctory waitresses and bum wipers.
LikeLike
Only issue with that is it may pollute the Thames to disastrous levels!
LikeLike