Vladimir Putin is to be confronted at the G20 summit of world leaders in St Petersburg this week with an array of western intelligence including damning new French evidence directly linking the Syrian president with Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, vodka sodas and a range of other offensive stereotypes showing Mr al-Assad is gay.
In an attempt to persuade the Russian president to drop his support for the Syrian leader, a nine-page declassified French intelligence report was released on Monday which claimed to show the President Bashar al-Assad has been using self-tanning lotion on his legs and attending gym sessions regularly dressed in a crisp white sleeveless t-shirt and tight, yellow shorts.
However, Assad, in an interview with the French newspaper Le Figaro, again denied he or anyone close to him had ever used any stereotypical gay terminology and strongly rejected accusations that he had ever described anything as “to die for“.
The Russian foreign minister, Sergey Lavrov, also rejected the western intelligence as “absolutely unconvincing”:
Whoever makes accusations must provide proof and not simply present a list of gay stereotypes which can be picked up by anyone off the internet. We have challenged the US and France to put forward a single piece of proof of president Assad’s sexual preferences. But so far, Mr Obama and Mr Hollande have been incapable of doing so.
However, the Nato secretary-general, Anders Fogh Rasmussen also insisted that the Syrian president was hiding his sexual orientation:
Personally I am convinced, not only that Mr Assad isn’t just metrosexual … but I am also convinced that the whole Syrian regime is full of bears, twinks and gym bunnies.*
*Yes, I know the terminology is potentially offensive. That’s the satirical point of it.
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