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(satire?)

The British prime minister David Cameron and US president Barack Obama are said to have concluded that joint military action in Syria may be required in response to shocking reports of their growing unpopularity in the polls.

Mr Cameron and President Obama moved the west closer to military intervention on Saturday as they agreed that last week’s alleged chemical weapon attacks merited a “serious response” which would enable both western leaders to regain at least some of their lost popularity with voters.

In a phone call that lasted 40 minutes, the two leaders are understood to have concluded that the chemical attack that is believed to have killed as many as 1,400 people in Damascus in the middle of last week was serious enough to gain themselves a few percentage points in the polls.

The prime minister and US president said all options should be kept open, including the use of force, both to make clear that the west could not stand by as chemical weapons were used on innocent civilians but more importantly to make clear that they were drawing a red line in the sand to show the Syrian regime that they would not allow their popularity levels to plummet any further.

A joint statement by the two leaders said:

We are both gravely concerned by the shocking new lows which have taken place in our opinion polls recently and we wish to make it clear that we are not prepared to stand idly by and watch this tragedy happen.

That is why we’re both looking for any excuse to bomb the f**k out of someone. Preferably an Arab.

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