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A controversial operation to extract a well-heeled foot from controversial Tory peer Lord Howell’s mouth has been given the go-ahead by the government.

The senior Tory’s facial orifice which has been accused of triggering several major earthquakes in the Tory Party recently – is to be allowed to resume producing gas and hot air but with the proviso that if it results in even the smallest seismic tremors there should be an immediate shutdown of the Tory lord.

The announcement comes not long after an independent report recommended that extraction of urine by the coalition government from the general population should be expanded to include the whole of the UK.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Government tries to quietly drop Lord ‘desolate north-east’ Howell as adviser

Met Office warns record-breaking hot air from Lib Dems to continue

Relief across UK as floods move northwards to more unimportant parts of the country

Controversial urine extraction method given go-ahead by government.

Coalition split after Tory minister says UK ‘peppered’ with too many wind-powered Lib Dem MPs

More Wet Downpours of Triviality Forecast from Nick Clegg to End 2012

So most farmers support the badger cull? Erm, no actually, they don’t.


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