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(Satire. Probably.)

In an article for the Observer newspaper, former Prime Minister Tony Blair has said there was no alternative to military intervention in Egypt after the army was confronted with an intolerable situation where very few Arabs were being killed there.

Taking a different approach to both President Obama and William Hague, who have expressed disagreement over the exact number of civilian deaths necessary to ensure democratic government takes hold in the country, Blair makes clear that, overall, he believes too few middle eastern people had been dying in Egypt recently.

I am a strong supporter of democracy. But it’s now become clear that too few dark-skinned were being killed to guarantee strong democratic government in Egypt.

Blair also argues that the west needs to remain fully engaged in killing people in the region, including in Syria, Iran and Palestine. “The good news is that there are millions of modern and open-minded people out there in the middle east waiting to be killed by us. They need to know we are on their side, their allies, prepared to kill them in order to ensure democracy takes hold across the region.”

A spokesperson for Mr Blair denied criticism that the former PM was being racist against Arabs, pointing out he would be all for more Iranians and North Koreans dying in order to encourage democracy in those countries too. 

 

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Now’s not the time to mention that Cameron took 8 arms dealers with him to Egypt. OK?

Melanie Phillips Calls On West To Arm Nigella Lawson

Why Syrian War Crimes Are Very Naughty – by Charles Saatchi

US Warning To Mayans Over Threats Of World Destruction

Updated Trident Nuclear Warheads to Target Deadly Threat from Bus Passengers with Backpacks

West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA

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