(satire – or is it?)
POLICE forces across the UK are set to radically change the tactics they use to combat crime by shifting their focus and resources away from shagging hippies and smearing murder victims to trying to catch criminals.
The unprecedented plan to fight crime by attempting to catch people who break the law comes after criticism that previous tactics by the police whereby undercover officers had sex with animal right’s activists and spied on families of black murder victims has proven to be ineffective at reducing crime.
The new approach to fighting crime is expected to include the following changes in police tactics:
- Fewer officers to be deployed in the vaginas of female animal rights activists.
- Shifts in focus away from the surveillance of the families of black murder victims to the investigation of possible suspects – even in cases where officers suspect the perpetrators may be white.
- More resources to be concentrated on the investigation of crimes and fewer on the cover-up of cock-ups by undercover officers and the babies resulting from them.
- Greater use of scarce police manpower in the pursuit of criminals than on the pursuit of attractive Greenpeace members.
A police spokesperson explained that the changes were a result of recent research which shows that tricking Greenpeace activists into having sex with undercover police officers is not the most effective way of tackling law breaking and anti social behaviour.
Many experts also point to extensive data which shows that the most effective way of solving a murder is not to concentrate resources on smearing the victim and his family – even if he is black.
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Reblogged this on kickingthecat.
Ha ha! Your best yet!
guy fawkes said:
spying undercover officers – more like bumbling Walter Mitties. There definitely needs to be retribution for those raped or smeared by the state.
I’m amazed they didn’t try to fit Colin Stagg up for a few more murders?
What’s the point in wasting grey hairs on murderous psychopaths when dangerous sociopaths are running the police and the government?
i think they found the policy of infiltrating activists who were concerned about police corruption..also counter productive too….
mr spivey wrote about this item thomas..complete with more revealing stuff
Reblogged this on nearlydead.
Having outgrown their hippy shagging phase I take it that the age old police custom of killing frail old alcoholic news vendors for happening to be in front of them when the black kit is on and escaping any legal penalty will continue as normal, along with taking stress related sick leave and early retirement with pension if the IPCC slip up and look as though they might find evidence of wrongoing.
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
Pretty revolutionary idea – grin
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Britains Biggest gang – I only wish this was satire.
Reblogged this on Citizens, not serfs.
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