(satire?)
Michael Gove has unveiled major reforms to the way GCSE examinations are conducted in England, saying that applications of six of the best to the nether regions from a well-oiled cane and character-building cold baths will be a central part of the new GCSE syllabus.
The Education Secretary also told MPs in the House of Commons that the new exam-only qualifications would have more emphasis on regular beatings on the bare buttocks with a finely stitched leather strap in order to equip the nation’s fallen Godless, Devil-spawned youth to perform better in the modern world.
In his report titled In Praise of Stout Educational Virtues and Avoidance of Unwholesome Excesses of Youth, Mr Gove also said that if schools are to avoid an excess of cads, ruffians, suffragettes and fallen women, then the experience of being made to stand in a freezing bath while reciting passages from the Bible while at the same time ensuring all naked table legs were adequately covered in order to avoid arousal of bestial urges – would spur children on to further endeavours and deeper learning.
Gove professed himself a great fan of Daniel Willingham, a US cognitive psychologist who has sought to use scientific research to show pupils learn best through the use of pain, repressed sexuality, self-flagellation and hypocrisy, arguments outlined in his book, Why Don’t Our Children Like Going Up Chimneys Any More? also popular with free schools guru Toby Young.
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nearlydead said:
Reblogged this on nearlydead.
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Editor said:
Reblogged this on kickingthecat.
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guy fawkes said:
I watched an episode of “monkey life” on channel 5 and saw how they used “operant conditioning” to train the monkeys to obey commands, where they use food to achieve the desired result. They have started doing that with the unemployed stealing their food money via sanctions perhaps the school kids are next to have their school dinners removed until they perform monkey fashion. ( for some kids they may consider such a move a blessing )
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Aynuck said:
A good public school thrashing never did Cameron, I.D.S, and Gideon any harm did it?
Look at what normal well balanced socially aware paragons they turned out to be……
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joelghames said:
An opportune moment to bring this back to the table:
Ah, dear old Gove. Just a couple of years to go and only seven-hundred and forty-three more insane policies to implement.
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overburdenddonkey said:
i detest the work and offshoot work of bf skinner..it is gossip..toxic gossip..that floats above the root cause…it tries to treat symptoms…not root cause disease..it keeps one in need and never freed….dr bob’s truth, does it for me…
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nuggy said:
anybody seen this.
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bobchewie said:
And yet gove wont allow the mandatory reporting of sexual offences against children as it would ‘swamp’ officials ..why is that i wonder..
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Pingback: EXCLUSIVE – leaked sample questions from Michael Gove’s new GCSE Mathematics examination | Pride's Purge
rainbowwarriorlizzie said:
Reblogged this on HUMAN RIGHTS & POLITICAL JOURNAL.
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gogwit said:
Reblogged this on Gogwit's Blog and commented:
Cold showers and regular beatings did me no harm.
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