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(satire – probably)
David Cameron has held crisis talks at Downing Street after being told of stunning allegations that he has been having a love affair with himself.
For legal reasons, Pride’s Purge cannot disclose the identity of the serving UK prime minister that Mr Cameron is alleged to have been involved with – however we can reveal that when aides told Mr Cameron he’d been shagging himself for the last 2 years he was ‘stunned’, and, according to sources, ‘immediately realised the importance of the story’.
The Prime Minister and his aides also discussed the possible fallout should details of his affair with himself become public – and how such disclosure could ‘blow out of the water’ any major political set pieces planned by the coalition by making his present bit-on-the-side Nick Clegg extremely jealous.
However, Mr Cameron has so far refused to comment on the sensational allegations apart from issuing a statement to party activists saying “my party doesn’t understand me.”
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Carol said:
Ah, dear old Dave. Narcissus is alive and well and living in No.10. Wouldn’t be surprised if a few more of them are uncovered. Only Gove could love Gove.
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margatemadness said:
I would have thought it was Samantha, how long can she endure seeing Dave’s cum face?
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Pingback: REVEALED – PM stunned by revelations of his secret love affair with himself » Alternative News Network
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bobchewie said:
Thought i would share this stupid comment i found Tom on some free republic site . Acciording to a bone head UAF is united association of fascists
Ok heres that gem
Although I read The Telegraph quite regularly,The Guardian occasionally and watch PMQs regularly I’m pretty far from being an expert on British politics.However,I can’t help but think that UKIP’s current situation is making Millipede The Lesser grin from ear to Marxist ear.There’s gotta be some kind of “arrangement” that can be reached between UKIP and the Conservatives.Failure to do so could,in my anything-but-expert-opinion,mean decades of Communist rule in Britain.
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bobchewie said:
By the way some americans on that site think that EDL are a UK tea party
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bobchewie said:
Reaction to David Cameron speech at Tory conference.
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Pingback: No.10 rocked by secret love affair
nuggy said:
has he been shagging mrs brookes ive allways suspected he was.
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bikehound said:
Please don’t tell me Edwina’s worked her way through back door into number 10 again?
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nuggy said:
what does this affiar a man a woman a kangaroo they haven’t said.
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bogbrush said:
Not in the cabinet? then who is sufficiently high profile?
Oh no, not again.
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nuggy said:
i notice only the daily mails carried this story witch makes me wonder if they made up.
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Henry Bolton said:
Cameron has F**ked the rest of us why should be not F**k himself?
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Clegg said:
If it’s not a cabinet minister and it involves No 10, it can only be Boris and SamCam…
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Clegg said:
Boris and SamCam? I take it back – completely false. I was just jealous it wasn’t me…
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Reg said:
Don’t be so stupid
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nuggy said:
i would of thought an affair between consenting adults would be the last of the governments worry’s.
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Pingback: Downing St stunned after senior Tory caught having intramarital sex with his wife | Pride's Purge
Barry said:
UKIP leader Farange and Cliff Richard, but if Cameron exposes their past love it will backfire and Farange will be the next P.M with the whole country singing “Congratulations”
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Samantha Cameron affair with Boris Johnson said:
Samantha Cameron has been shagging Boris Johnson.
Some scurrilous types have been putting it about that the couple in question are Rebekah Brooks and Andrew Coulson, which is total bullshit, and which would interest hardly anyone, let alone “rock” No.10 and “stun” David Cameron.
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John Vanbar said:
Well said Henry. My sentiments entirely.
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Pingback: Downing St stunned after senior Tory caught having intramarital sex with his wife » Alternative News Network
Roz said:
George Osborne and Michael Gove – I so bet it’s them! If it’s not, then it’s really not interesting news.
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gogwit said:
Reblogged this on Gogwit's Blog and commented:
So he got bored with shafting the rest of us? Ooh, makes me sooo mad!
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Clever Trevor. said:
I just hope they haven’t worked their way through hers. I’d be jealous.
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defendummah said:
http://defendummah.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/19-chapter-maryam-mary-of-quran/
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maire kelly said:
Politations are elected by the people to serve the people. If they do good and just service for the electorate ? Then they are ok. Their private life are their own and let them deal with their own mistakes. should
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Ted from the newaagent said:
Eh?
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Ted from the newsagents said:
Eh?
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Outraged of Tunbridge Wells said:
We can only hope we’ll be spared the sordid, grimy details once the trash of the press pack finally get hold of it.
The story. Get hold of the story. Oh never mind.
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These troughers work for us said:
Why and what are the ‘legal reasons’ apart from that being a general put off tactic to buy time to manage the disclosure?
If its two blokes then it might impact gay marriage (for better or worse) – but that’s just a gov’t policy, hardly an issue of legality. Slightly embarrassing timing maybe but not a legal matter. If Ian Rush can have his infidelity smeared across the tabloids then why not a politician or two?
Maybe a current partner of one of the illicit couple contracts services to the gov’t and one of the illicit couple is responsible for that department – or some such combination involving the government’s – oops our money?
Grateful if anyone can explain why two members getting jiggy becomes a legal reason?
At the end of the day the press already know so I suspect its the management of the story is what it is about. And in the meantime the press get some mileage from breathless titillation.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
Grant Mitchell got knocked about. Cameron would have needed an industrial jack hammer to compensate for his inadequacies.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
Elected by the people to serve the people.
The comedy club gig awaits !
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
The press already know. It has been swept under the carpet like the story about tory peados. Christ, the press probably joined in.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
Gay marriage is an EU policy on which you have no say whatsoever. Like all EU directives, it never appeared in any manifesto from any party.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
I doubt that has ever happened.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
I thought samcam was a streaming pay per view porn site.
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
Just another impression of wrong doing, nothing to see here !
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Lord Snotty of Bullingdon said:
Americans think ? Are you sure?
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