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The government has announced plans to hand over the running of the whole of England and Wales to private security firm G4S in a move which ministers say will bring significant improvements to their workload and personal bank balances.

The international company – which has already been contracted to run everything from rape referral centres to children’s homes in the UK – will take over the entire management of the two countries from government ministers on a contract which is expected to run for 30 years.

The company announced that trained G4S workers working on an hourly rate of £6.50 an hour will help man the two countries, assisting with making decisions about foreign policy, running the countries’ health and education services as well as providing advice on how members of the public can access optional services such as provision of water, gas, electricity and air for an extra fee.

A spokesperson for G4S said:

We are very pleased to be working with the UK government to be able to provide people who live in England and Wales with easy access to their countries at a reasonable price.

This contract will enable government ministers to spend more time on holiday while at the same time ensuring we get to line our pockets with yet more taxpayers’ money for basic services you’ve already paid for anyway.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

G4S are now teaching and looking after our children. Are we all mad?

Privatisation and handover of policing to G4S is already well underway…

G4S Embassy Guards Sacked By US Government For Drinking Vodka Out Of Each Others’ Bottoms. Not satire – it’s true!

Not satire – prisoner escaped curfew after G4S mistakenly tagged his false leg!

Oh dear! G4S were in charge of security at airport which let 9/11 hijackers slip through.

Serious Breach Of Security As Worker Smuggles Can of Pepsi Into Olympic Park

G4S have their own corporate song – but maybe these would be more appropriate ……

Would refusing to cooperate with a G4S detective mean you could be charged with hindering a police investigation?


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