(satire – probably)
The Prime Minister David Cameron has rejected a suggestion by Conservative MP Nadine Dorries that she could stand as a joint Tory- Monster Raving Loony Party candidate at the next general election.
Mr Cameron told BBC news that despite many policy similarities between the Conservatives and the MRLP – his party did not do “pacts or deals” even with other insane parties.
On Monday, Ms Dorries told the BBC News Channel that many Conservatives have “huge empathy” with raving loonies and raised the possibility of some Conservative MPs running on a joint loony ticket in an effort to avoid a split in the stark raving loony vote.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
Jamie Oliver on UKIP – anything so full of nuts has got to be good
Queen’s Speech: government to tackle problem of mass immigration into the UKIP
Bananas, nuts and fruitcakes express outrage at being compared to UKIP members
UKIP candidate – physical exercise prevents homosexuality (no – not satire)
Nigel Farage, the Tea Party Godfather and the man who tried to trash the pound. Twice.
UKIP chairman – every UK city should have 1 or 2 ‘holding’ camps for immigrants
Cameron must be balder to counter UKIP threat say senior Tory slapheads
Government ministers announce plan to deter immigrants to UK by making it shit
UKIP and a little matter of bestiality and necrophilia …..
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David Sutch would be spinning in his grave…maybe he will step out of his coffin and give the Tories a good kicking..
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Ms Dorries comments appeared after many disgruntled posh boys agreed to appear on the popular tv show ‘I’m a Conservative – Get Me Out of Here’.
Their soon to be ousted hosts of the show which has declined in popularity, those cheeky chappies Cleggy n Dave, are about to leave the stage after one half of the duo has been found to suffer from a Major terminal condition, the symptoms of which manifests itself as dithering about, speaking with a nerdy nasal voice and turning 50 shades of grey after Dave, (the one with the high forehead), began to whip Ms Dorries once again after a six month commercial break.
A joint pact which would bring in a more decisive popular host is thought to be the surest way of preventing the extremely dangerous certifiable homicidal Milliacs from not only taking over the asylum but filling it to overflowing with complete strangers.
These homicidal Milliacs are hell bent on murdering what is left of a once highly respected and admired collection of world beating inmates, now reduced to a sad unmentionable persecuted underclass once known as the ‘English’, without regard to the fact that they have been given no mandate to commit this multicultural honour killing.
The murder will take the form of a sacrifice to the Milliacs strange all powerful and pervasive God, which is known as Di-Ver-Si-Ty, blindly worshipped and adored by the Milliacs regardless of the cost to society as a whole.
The Milliacs will achieve the slow painful murder by eradicating all traces of Englishness, stifling unbelievers, overcrowding the asylum with multitudes known as bogus asylum seekers who are constantly searching for an asylum under false pretences, and admitting unfathomable numbers of pilgrims who are regarded by the penitent Milliacs as saints on a quest for the good health and untold riches that they have been promised by the Milliacs and their followers.
Many of these pilgrims and seekers of asylum from far off lands despise and intend to displace or destroy the long term inmates, who must show obeisance to Di-Ver-Si-Ty by having their noses constantly rubbed into it’s effigy by a strange brainwashed Milliac following cult who inhabit a weird muddle headed universe, colloquially known as a university.
These often scruffy and workshy disciples are known to foam at the mouth, endorse the metaphorical burning of books which fail to fully endorse their form of worship, and who only have a left wing which renders these strange beings incapable of performing any useful or meaningful task.
To ensure that their God continues to be worshipped for evermore, the Milliacs intend to secretly hand the asylum keys over to faceless bullying Belgian landlords who will extract vast sums of rents from the inmates whilst steadfastly ignoring their wishes about who can share te space that they have paid for and failing to carry out any improvements at all.
The scarcely mentioned permanent handover to this thuggish bullying conglomerate, collectively known as EUro(c)rats, will ensure that the Milliacs long term aim of destroying the original residents who dare not speak their name takes place rapidly and without further interference from the inmates themselves.
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chewie….they are all doing the “davegordons”….
the dance of fortune…(carl orff… carmina burana)….woo of voters, looking for their next new love, spinning round in circles, arm in arm….to create the illusion of dynamics,whilst the reality is, they are frozen in fear, at the thought of loss of access to sweetie jar….they double speak, till the music stops…and points to the next “coalition”, to align with….that will bring them, power and fortune…
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