(satire – possibly)
After publicly endorsing UKIP, TV celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has denied accusations he is ignorant of politics saying his detailed research showed that fruitcakes and nuts – which can be found in large numbers in Nigel Farage’s Eurosceptic party – are good for you.
Mr Oliver – who has tirelessly campaigned for British schools to serve food to children which is healthier for his bank balance – said:
Most of UKIP’s policies are pure bananas – which as everyone knows are very healthy – and as a chef I’m all for people being out to lunch like the majority of UKIP members seem to be. And if we have to swallow the tripe we get from most politicians – it may as well be the pure, unadulterated, unprocessed tripe being served up in large amounts by UKIP.
Mr Oliver’s comments come not long after the UK Food Standards Agency announced it was launching an urgent investigation into how such large amounts of fudge – including excessive use of artificial sweeteners – have been allowed to find their way into David Cameron’s policy on Britain’s relationship with the EU.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
FSA – tests reveal Nick Clegg may contain up to 100% chicken
Scientists Succeed in Growing Balls on Liberal Democrats in Laboratory
Cameron delays EU speech till 2018
Ken Clarke and Peter Mandelson join forces to fight Eurovision Song Contest sceptics
Never mind a UK referendum on ceding power to Brussels. What about China?
West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA
Cameron Lectures Eurozone On How to Ruin Economy
Engelbert Humperdinck to Represent UK at Next EU Summit
Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto
The (Real) Definition Of Standard & Poor’s Credit Ratings…..
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Pingback: Jamie Oliver on UKIP - anything so full of nuts...
Pingback: Jamie Oliver on UKIP – anything so full of nuts has got to be good » Alternative News Network
“Anything so full of nuts has got to be good”, only if you’ve got teeth. Smacking your gums will not help the nuts go down any better.
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Fruitcake and nuts are much more palatable than the bitter pills that we’ve been forced to swallow by Lab Lib Con politicians who have claimed for champagne and caviar lifestyles courtesy of the mug tax payer who has always been fed on a diet of bullshit.
I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that bananas and other such fruit may even help spoilt children, who call each other names and become aggrssive when they don’t get their own way, to one day almost start to behave like adults.
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ukip have claimed there fair share in expenses themselves.
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whats the message here? that its ok that schoolkids eat junk food at school because Oliver talks crap?
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Reblogged this on nearlydead.
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@nuggy
It’s true that one ex UKP MEP was jailed for fiddling his expenses but the exclusive Westminster club stole from us on an industrial scale and most of them got away with it scot free and are still at the trough to this day.
The price that they are paying now is public disconnection and apathy toward the three main parties who are widely perceived as out of touch and only in it for themselves.
This has been clearly demonstrated by the growing support for UKIP who have yet to gain a seat in Westminster or even to clearly state what their policies are.
Imagine the effect if UKIP increased their support and, in spite of the rigged electoral system, won seats at Westminster. Oh what a panic there would be!!! 🙂
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Suggs of Madness is mad enough to embrace UKIP……he’s been a very nutty boy!! [sic] :)-
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Aynuck
I thought Tom might have replied to you, in his absence I would like to thank UKIP for putting unsustainable immigration on the agenda and also exiting Europe, but I believe they would be no better regarding nose in trough politics than anyone else and could be a lot worse than the liberals if aligned with the tories..
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If nuts are so good for you, how come Iain Duncan Smith offered to return the ones he’d bitten off back to their owners in a box? Mind you, I read that in the Mail. They could have been exaggerating.
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I tend to agree Guy Fawkes, UKIP are an as yet unknown quantity as far as in depth policies are concerned and it would appear that their candidate vetting procedure needs to be tightened up if some of the misfits recently elected and then forced to resign as UKIP councillors are anything to go by.
The mass immigration issue has long been a hot topic of conversation between ordinary people, although I’ve noticed a tendency for them to look arond and lower their tone when discussing it in case the thought police are anywhere near.
The trouble has been that if anybody tried to express the slightest concern, let alone doubt, that uncontrolled mass immigration is ‘A Good Thing’ they were immediately howled down and called nazi’s or racists by the uber libertarian mob.
Unemployment is rising, conditions of employment and living standards are falling and the negative effects of mass immigration are now being felt by some parts of the white urban middle class who were up to recent times completely unaffected.
The issue won’t go away but the left still refuse to debate the issues surrounding uncontrolled mass immigration to this country, instead persevering with their mantra about ‘cultural enrichment’ and the ‘benefits’ of the open door policies which have created such a sense of unease amongst a majority of voters.
This could spell danger for Labour when ordinary working people cotton on to the fact that Milliband, whilst paying lip service to peoples concerns, can only offer much more of the same.
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Isn’t there a song called ‘a finger of fudge’??…….. that is UKIPs only policy ….. haven’t you seen the people standing for them at the local elections – average age 74, male except for the odd dotty haridan in buffon style haircut/hairnets, don’t talk about policies – talk about immigration and the EU ….. they’re bollox
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We shall see………..
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But forgot to add that a growing number of people disagree with you Justintime, they seem to have Cameron and Milliband by the bollox if look at the ‘repositioning’ and back pedalling that just a few old guys and odd dotty harridans haved caused so far .
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Pingback: Jamie Oliver on UKIP – anything so full of nuts has got to be good
justinthyme: No one could describe Diane James as old, or as unattractive. She did brilliantly in the Eastleigh by-Election, with a 19% swing away from the Lib Dems(who retained the seat) pushing the Conservatives into third place.
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All together now…..
‘A finger of fudge is just enough to give yourself a treat,
We’ve given the finger to Cameron and now he might face defeat’
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sorry off topic please please get in touch with me Tom
http://motherdamnable.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/sonia-poulton-refuses-to-give-right-of.html
i am aware of the cyber bullying and other situations,
totally and strictly confidential
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