(satire – probably)
Doctors are treating the Prime Minister David Cameron for a strong reaction in the knee to jerks after Thursday’s local council elections in England and Wales.
Medical experts suspect Mr Cameron may be suffering from an increasingly common medical disorder known as ‘Ukiparerighterthanus’ – a disease characterised by symptoms of knee jerk reactions to everyday problems, right-wing tics, highly offensive outbursts as well as the emergence of large, fat balding pains especially on the right.
There is no known cure for the illness, although it is thought the disorder may be spread by contact with a deadly bacteria known as Ruperteria Murdochoccus and can also be made worse by excessive exposure to the Sun. Some experts believe it could also be picked up and passed from person to person by unprotected handling of the Mail or excessive wearing of blazers.
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