(satire – possibly)
The Prime Minister David Cameron has promised to win back former Conservative supporters who have defected to UKIP by pledging to wear blazers more often and trying harder to be much more openly racist and homophobic.
In an interview with the BBC, the prime minister said:
We need to show respect for people who have taken the choice to support a party of fruitcakes, loonies and closet racists and that’s why I am pledging to do more to win back our core voters by telling racist jokes while wearing a blazer and drinking beer from an engraved silver tankard down my local pub more often.
As results were announced in the elections for the 35 county councils in England and Wales, the Prime Minister also pledged to work harder to distance himself from himself, the Prime Minister and Mr Cameron’s own policies.
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