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(satire)

French company, ATOS – which was found guilty yesterday of deploying useless crip detectors on behalf of the British government – had been using the fake gadgets in work capability tests with the full knowledge of British government officials, it has emerged.

ATOS – which was convicted at the Old Bailey on Tuesday of three counts of fraud – faces up to 10 years in jail after using the gadgets which they claimed could detect disability and sickness at long range, deep underground and through lead-lined rooms.

Detectives working on the case however, said the devices – which the company had been using to supposedly detect genuine disability on behalf of the Department of Work and Pensions – were in fact re-badged golf ball finders that were no more than car radio antennas attached to an empty box, had no power source and were not connected to any electronics.

Although their widespread use in the UK helped make ATOS a £400m fortune, the fake devices were useless and have been compared to dowsing rods and magic wands by the people who were supposed to rely on them to detect genuine cases of sickness and disability in the Department of Work and Pensions’ so-called ‘Fitness for Work’ tests.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

ATOS declare Richard III fit for work

ATOS to reduce ‘fit for work’ test to one question: “Are you alive?”

UK pulls out of 2016 Paralympics after ATOS declares no disabled in UK

ATOS assessor found blind woman fit for work after “wiggling his fingers” in front of her eyes

Toby Young – disabled children should be excluded from schools

ATOS declare George Osborne unfit for work as Chancellor

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