(Satire? Not sure any more)
UK Sport have confirmed Britain will not be sending a Paralympics team to the 2016 Paralympics in Rio de Janeiro after ATOS declared they hadn’t been able to find any disabled people in the UK.
In a statement, a spokesperson for ATOS confirmed the complete absence of people with disabilities in Britain:
We’re happy to announce that we’ve been testing people for disability benefits for some time now and we haven’t found any disabled people at all.
Clearly they must all have managed to get cured or had their arms and legs grow back or something.
The announcement comes not long after ATOS declared ex-prime minister Margaret Thatcher fit for work and decided to cut the £535,000 in benefits she receives from the taxpayer saying she would be given all the help and unconditional support she needs to find any non-existent job that might come along.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
ATOS declare Richard III fit for work
ATOS to reduce ‘fit for work’ test to one question: “Are you alive?”
ATOS assessor found blind woman fit for work after “wiggling his fingers” in front of her eyes
Toby Young – disabled children should be excluded from schools
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Tom, this is PURE GENIUS xx
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Why does Mrs thatcher need so much money? And could you multiply the stated amount by the number of weeks months, years that she has been ammassing the tax-payer benefits. An awful thought struck my mind just then, All the other old dodderers in the house of lords, do they ALL get about the same amount as her? And yet people have to move house, give up the spare bedroom, pay extra council tax. Other unlucky folk are having their benefits totally stopped, (sanctioned, like it’s the pope doing it) All for the sake of saving the bloody government money. She hasn’t actually been in the house of lords for years….all those like her, the ones incapable of turning up…do they all get the same amount of money, focibly donated by tax-payers?
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well tamy was told has of olimipic committee but didn’t show any outward signs that they didn’t approve of atos supporting them well now the torys will show them treachery back stabbing them so how can they traing if no dla has pips well one has to be nearly dead to claim that jeff3
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Reblogged this on .
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What the hell are this company ATOS doing? It must stand for “Absolutely Talking Old S..t”,cos thats what theyre doing! How can they say theyre are no disabled people in this country and to say peoples arms and legs must have grown back,how bloody insulting!! I think they must be the disabled ones,mentally disabled,get shot of them and get proper medically qualified people who really know about disability,to do the medicals,not pen pushers paid a fortune to say who is or isnt able to go to work based on some absolutely ridiculous questions they ask! They’ll be asking next”can you breathe”. Pathetic! They should be looking at each individuals disability and how it affects them in day to day life,not just bunch them into one group! I am disabled and i am definitely not lazy! Apart from physical disabilities,i have Tourettes,and it may be a joke to some,but iwas diagnosed at age 10,and am in my 50’s now,but no one would employ me coming out with some things that i come out with,its uncontrollable,just comes out!
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Reblogged this on Social Awareness.
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as the parable says,,take–up–thy–bed–and–walk,, well this old-mancunian–goes further,to–all–the–POLITICAL–TERRORIST–COALITION,,CAMERON–CLEGG–THE–PAEDOPHILE–IAN–DUNCAN–SMITH,–AND–THE–REST-OF–THE–POLITICAL–FREE–LOADERS–OF–THE–COALITION,,WHOSE FREEBIES–FROM–THE–BRITISH–ELECORATE(THERE—EMPLOYERS) AMOUNTS–TO-£517-0 PER WEEK—YES–PER–WEEK,THAT–DOE NOT–INCLUDE–SALARY–SPOUSE–WINK–WINK-PERSONAL–CONSTITUENCY–SECRETARY,, SARDONIC–LAUGHTER,, SALARY,OR–LONDON–LIVING–ALLOWANCE,PLEASE FEEL–FREE–TO–CHECK–THIS–OUT,,YOU WILL OF COURSE,HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS,WITH THE POLITICAL–TERRORISTS–COALITIONS,–FRIENDS–IN–THE–MEDIA–TERRORISTS-NEWSPAPERS-T.V. ETC..WHO WILL DO EVERYTHING–IN–THERE–POWER–TO–MAKE–SURE–YOU–DO–NOT–EXPOSE,THERES–AND–THERE–POLITICAL–TERRORIST–COALITION,EVIL–CORRUPTION–PROPAGANDA ETC, SO THIS OLD MANCUNIAN–FROM–ARDWICK–SAYS–TAKE A WALK–OVER–BEACHY–HEAD–SOON–PLEASE–,,ALL–YOU–MEDIA–AND–POLITICAL–TERRORISTS, AND YES–MY–FRIENDS–THEY—REALLY–TRUELLY–ARE–EVIL–TERRORISTS,, YOU SEE TERRORISTS, ARE NOT–JUST–THE–SICK-WICKED–EVIL–SCUM,-WHO–PLANT–BOMBS–TO–KILL-WOMEN–CHILDREN–AND–BABIES,, BUT–PEOPLE–WHO THROW–DISABLED–HANDICAPPED,MENTALLY–ILL, INFIRM-POOR–DISADVANTAGED-VUNERABLE-OUT-OF-THERE–HOMES,TO—DIE,,STOP.SICK,DISABLED-HANDICAPPED-MENTALLY-ILL -GETTING–THERE–RIGHTFUL -BENIFITS, WHILE–THEY THE–POLICAL–TERRORISTS-CAMERON–CLEGG,THE–PAEDOPHILE–IAN-DUNCAN-SMITH,,STEAL BILLIONS,,NOT MILLIONS, FRIENDS –BUT–BILLIONS-OF POUNDS OF TAXPAYERS MONEY,,TO FIGHT ILLEGAL WARS IN IRAQ,AFGANISTAN, ETC,, AND NOT ONE SINGLE NEWSPAPER ,-OR- T. V. STATION,EVER ASK THE–POLITICAL TERRORIST COALITION,HOW MUCH -OF-YOUR–MONEY–TAX-PAYERS,HAVE THEY-STOLEN-TO-DATE–FIGHTING–WARS,,THE MEDIA–ARE–AS–CORRUPT–AS–THE–POLITICANS,, I HAVE CHALLENGED CAMERON-CLEGG-ANY–NEWSPAPER–EDITOR-OWNER–T.V. MEDIA–OWNERS-TO–A LIVE–TO BE BEAMED AROUND THE WORLD,DEBATE,, AS YET,I HAVE NOT RECEIVED ONE SINGLE REPLY,,LET ALONE ACCEPTANCE,,DO–YOU–THINK–IT–COULD–BE–MY–DEODERANT..??? stephen.a.anderson.snr. A.K.A. ARDWICK–ANDY,,
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