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(satire – I think)

MPs in Cyprus have overwhelmingly voted to reject a demand by Germany that they give their full 12 points in the Eurovision Song Contest final in Malmo, Sweden to German entrant ‘Cascada‘ as a condition for a bailout deal, with a vote of 36 against, 19 abstentions and none in favour.

“The bill has been rejected,” said house speaker Yiannakis Omirou, as thousands of protesters outside the parliament building in Nicosia expressed anger at the way ordinary Cypriots were being forced to vote for a country other than Greece in the pan-European festival of crap music.

Local media said the government would now try to renegotiate the terms of the deal with the troika of lenders, and at the same time seek other ways of making up the 12 point shortfall – possibly by offering Germany and France 10 points and 8 points respectively instead.

The tough negotiating position reflected demands by Germany and other creditor nations in the monetary union that citizens of fiscally irresponsible nations in Eurovision start giving more points to other countries instead of always voting for their friends no matter how crap their songs are.

The moves also come after the Cypriot finance minister made a sudden trip to Moscow earlier this week where he failed to persuade the Russians to accept a deal giving them 10 points from Cyprus at the Eurovision final on the 18th of May in exchange for a €2.5bn loan.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Sceptics Demand Referendum On Eurovision Pull Out

West Mulls Military Strikes Against IKEA

Cameron Lectures Eurozone On How to Ruin Economy

Engelbert Humperdinck to Represent UK at Next EU Summit

Liberal Democrats Threaten To Become Very Cross Over EU Veto

The (Real) Definition Of Standard & Poor’s Credit Ratings…..

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