(satire – I think)
The Chancellor George Osborne promised a budget today that will help those who want to work hard & get on by reducing the price of beer so they can get pissed much more often.
The budget – which is being labelled by government ministers as “a budget for hard-drinking families” – included cutting the price of a pint of beer by 1p.
However, hard-line backbench boozers from the chancellor’s own party have said the cuts in the cost of alcohol spending do not go far enough to help people forget the woeful state of the economy and drown their sorrows in a haze of alcoholic oblivion. As one old Tory sot said:
We don’t just need more drastic measures to cut spending on alcohol – we need double measures, triple measures even – preferably washed down with a port and lemon chaser or whatever your favourite tipple might be.
The chancellor’s move comes not long after experts say the government’s credibility has been hit hard by reports the prime minister David Cameron lost heavily in a drinking contest with Ed Miliband and Nick Clegg during an all-night ‘session’ in Mr Miliband’s office over press regulation.
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An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride
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UK suffers worst double-dipstick chancellor in 50 years
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The Sun, The Telegraph and The Mail – we’re above UK laws so we’ll ignore them
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He isn’t reducing the price by 6p, he simply isn’t increasing it as was planned. The article is flawed, naive and pointless. Simply a socialist perspective and an attack on somebody cleaning up the mess left behind by Labour.
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That’s the way politics works, Nick, they say they will put beer up by 6p a pint, then say they’ve decided not to put beer up after all, so we all feel mighty relieved and say what a jolly good bloke that Chancellor is….
…..If you don’t enjoy satire, what are you doing reading Tom Pride’s parliamentary sketches then? You should join Scottish Labour MP Jim Sheridan who wants Quentin Letts and all the other parliamentary sketch-writers banned from the Commons.
…All Chancellors pimp off the poor taxpayer but Osborne is one of the most hypocritical, having been a member of the hard-drinking Bullingdon Club but only drinking tap water at the Dispatch Box on Budget day when he could have a double G&T or a sherry with eggnog; coming from wealthy wallpaper family Osborne & Little but cutting benefits for the jobless, the incapacitated and those with spare bedrooms…. Generous Gideon would probably send all pensioners to the concentration camps if he thought he could get away with it.
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Blimey Nick – and they say the Left don’t have a sense of humour!
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Oh dear,he did reduce the price.The comment is flawed but welcome.Actually,it was my first thought when Osborne reduced the duty and then stated that the budget was for those that want to aspire,what aspire to get pissed more cheaply?In reality,it was a political move,as others were to attempt to appeal to people that no longer support the Tories and blatently so.Typically Tories judging policies on votes rather than wht is right for the Country economically-and it will be paid for by cutting benefits for the poorest in June-who aspire to continueto live.
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