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(satire)
The people of the Falkland Islands have voted overwhelmingly to stay on the islands despite being accused by the UK government of breaking under-occupancy rules brought in as part of the coalition’s controversial new bedroom tax regulations.
Despite near zero temperatures and flurries of snow and rain, all but three people voted yes to the question posed on the ballots: “Do you wish to remain on the Falkland Islands and be forced to take in dodgy lodgers or would you prefer to move to somewhere smaller like the Isle of Man?”
However, UK Prime Minister David Cameron defended the plan, which he says will create a level playing field between under-occupied islands such as the Falklands and other more crowded UK islands such as Gibraltar, Jersey and the Isle of Wight. In a statement, he said:
All the time Labour was in government, absolutely nothing was done to address the problem of thousands of people being subsidised by the taxpayer to live on sparsely-populated islands like the Falklands.
This government aims to solve the issue of under-occupancy – by making sure nobody lives on an island which is bigger than their needs.
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If stalwart British Colonial Home Owners on Las Malvinas wish to take in “dodgy lodgers”,perhaps we could kill 2 seagulls with one rock by sending over there some undesirables we wish to off-load? –Any suggestions? — Perhaps, for starters: Jim Davidson, Chris Evans, George Galloway,Vicky Pryce,Chris Huhne,Sir David Nicholson, Abu Qatada, Freddie Starr,that fat git who annoys the cr*p out of TV viewers by advertising GO COMPARE!!!!…….
Faced with that sort of unwanted invasion, most Falklanders would most likely quickly opine to pay the bedroom tax levy 🙂
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I think just Jim Davidson by himself would be enough to do the trick!
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Thanks Tom! –I see where you’re coming from 🙂
Blogger John Ward of The Slog raises the query as to who precisely are these 3 (out of 1,500 stalwart faithful colonials) dastardly traitorous upstarts who deigned to vote ‘No’ to staying put?? –They should be horsewhipped and sent by leaky boat to Riker’s island for incarceration! John asks if these 3 could possibly be spies or infiltrators, or even Mr and Mrs Maradona and their son Heinrich!!
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Pingback: Falkland Islanders vow to stay after bedroom tax forces move to smaller island | Welfare, Disability, Politics and People's Right's | Scoop.it
Baa……Baa…….
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Excellent satire, both funny and perceptive.
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Reblogged this on HUMAN RIGHTS & POLITICAL JOURNAL.
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Pingback: Falkland Islanders vow to stay after bedroom tax forces move to smaller island | Human Rights & Political Journal | Scoop.it
An Islander, Peregrine Puffin was quoted as saying ” This bedroom tax is bloody ridiculous, we have lived here for years, ok it might seem a bit roomy for us now but what about when my kids from previous relationship come to stop ? or there is my current partners nanna, in this cold weather she often stops with us, now they have cut the assisted living wardens she ain’t got much help you know and we’re all the family shes got, poor old girl. Look I’ll tell you what idiots this government is, see if we moved out of these socially owned Islands altogether and moved into one of them big posh privately owned Islands like Madagascar or Tasmania, then even though the rent would be way higher and we would then be under occupying by a bigger margin, the Island Benefit department would then pay all the higher rent ! The answer I reckon is to stop subsidising the frigging greedy private Island landlords and use that money presently wasted to build more socially owned Islands ! Bloody obvious innit,a lot more jobs for building workers, nice new homes for families with affordable rents and it would save the tax payer a sodding fortune, but no not them stupid Tories, their greedy mates in the city wouldn’t be able to cream in the cash if they did that would they ?”…………Which I thought summarised the issue nicely
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Well put and bleeding obvious, Jimmy ‘Two Sheds’ O’Gravy. But like you said, the Tories wont make money so it will never happen.
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I still fail to grasp how we can own countries and islands that are thousands of miles away from us.
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