(satire – probably)
After a bout of gastroenteritis, the Queen has been confirmed as the monarch who has sat on the throne the longest, overtaking George III who once suffered from a bad case of the squits after eating a dodgy chocolate pudding.
Queen Elizabeth – who celebrated her diamond jubilee last year – had to cancel a scheduled trip to Swansea when she acceded to the throne on 1st February 2013 and has remained there for 3 days and 14 hours.
Although the Queen’s great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria once got hit with gut-wrenching Pharaoh’s revenge after a visit to Egypt, her royal ancestor George III had greater longevity on the throne when he once had the skitters which lasted 2 days, 4 and a half hours and 32 minutes.
In a related development, a spokeswoman for Buckingham Palace rejected what she called ‘understandable’ widespread speculation that the Queen was throwing a sickie just to avoid visiting Swansea.
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Prince Philip admitted to hospital as a precautionary measure against having to watch Gary Barlow in concert
Big Ben’s tower to be renamed in honour of luxury cruise ship
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I prefer the days when monarchs died of gangrene due to septic crossbow-bolts in the flesh.
Still, whatever I think of Her Maj, I urge her not to be tempted by the lampreys on the menu at dinner-time…
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I wonder how the fella with the golden screwdriver is coping?
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The sitting on the throne joke is a bit old for satire.
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Well, I am over 350 years-old and a Puritan – who we all know find scatological humour hilarious – so it’s not all that surprising if you think about it, is it?
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Reblogged this on HUMAN RIGHTS & POLITICAL JOURNAL.
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I think the Queen being long time on the throne is still a good enough gag, after all,comedians have milked lavatorial humour for generations.
I would have said: “In a statement from Buckingham Palace, Prince Charles said that he had called for the Queen to come off the throne as soon as possible but she just wouldn’t leave the bathroom…”
🙂
In a separate developmnent, the Queen’s Royal Hospital took a long distance call from 2 unknown Australian talk-show comedians asking for a full update on the Queen’s condition,and they were told politely that the Queen intended to remain on the throne for another 60 years…”
🙂
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