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(It’s not satire – is it?)

In a bitter and closely fought by-election, voters in Eastleigh were expected today to deliver a bitter blow to the coalition government by electing a coalition government candidate from the ruling coalition government instead of a candidate from the ruling coalition government.

In a critical by-election for the coalition partners, coalition government candidates Maria Hutchings and Mike Thornton were expected to beat one of the coalition candidates Maria Hutchings and Mike Thornton into second place after polls showed it was unlikely two coalition government candidates could both win the election.

A coalition government spokesperson expressed disappointment at the expected result but denied a loss for one of the two candidates would create a rift between the two parties:

It’s a real pity they can’t both represent the constituency at the same time but as there’s only one seat available in the House of Commons, it would clearly be unreasonable to expect Mr Thornton to allow Ms Hutchings to sit on his lap during parliamentary debates – especially if they were likely to last more than 5 minutes. So it’s fair enough really.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Missing Tory Eastleigh by-election candidate Maria Hutchings turns up at US auction

Fresh outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth in Eastleigh as attempts to quarantine Tory candidate fail

Lib Dems have a cunning plan to win Eastleigh. They’ve abandoned Nick Clegg.

Liberal Democrat to stand for far-right English Democrats in Eastleigh by-election

Zoologists – Vince Cable and Ed Balls ready to mate soon

UKIP candidate – UK dinners flooded by criminal gangs of eastern European horses

Revealed! Nick Clegg’s secret love going back to his student days


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