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(satire – probably)

British mannequin makers are in uproar after novelist Hilary Mantel controversially described Britain’s shop window dummies as “having no personalities of their own” and looking as plastic as the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton.

Mantel, 60, said high street mannequins appear too “machine-made” with “perfect plastic smiles” whose only point and purpose – like Prince William’s wife – is to be “a jointed doll on which certain rags are hung”.

However Prime Minister David Cameron – speaking during a trip to India – defended Britain’s shop mannequins describing them as “engaging and fantastic ambassadors for Britain”, saying author Hilary Mantel was “completely wrong” to compare them to something as bland and plastic as the Duchess of Cambridge.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Duchess of Cambridge delights at first official portrait of her sister’s bottom

Prince Philip admitted to hospital as a precautionary measure against having to watch Gary Barlow in concert

Tory Modernisers Vow To Drag Party Into 19th Century

Hunting of Carlos The Great White Elephant Arouses Anger in Recession-Hit Spain

Prince Andrew To Help Develop UK Trade With Unelected Dictators & Sex Offenders

Argentina – Prince William Posting To Falklands In Tight Airsuit ‘Provocative’


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