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(satire – barely)

Paleontologists have discovered large numbers of primordial right-winged prehistoric dinosaurs –  once thought to be long extinct – still thriving in some of the darker and mostly unexplored corners of the Conservative Party.

The surprising discovery of the bull-headed, small-minded dinosaurs – known by experts as Cantankerus Toryannosaurus – was made after the prime minister David Cameron decided to introduce legislation allowing gay marriage.

Experts say the dinosaurs – which are extremely short-sighted with thick heads and tiny brains – particularly like to feed voraciously on unsuspecting bottom feeders such as Tory prime ministers and chancellors.

However, some experts say the discovery should come as no surprise:

The dark, primeval corners which exist in great abundance in the Tory Party make an ideal environment for primitive life forms to thrive.

So it’s not very surprising to discover so many dinosaurs – which have become extinct almost everywhere else in Britain – still enduring there even in this day and age.


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