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(satire – I think)

According to reports, the Education Secretary Michael Gove is set to allow the government’s flagship Free Schools to focus on their core functions of making money – without the need for having to teach any pupils, as required by existing legislation.

A spokesperson for the Department for Education, explained the reasons for allowing Free Schools to be set up without any students:

One of the biggest obstacles to the smooth running of schools is the distraction of constantly having to teach children things.

Unless we allow our schools to be able to escape the stranglehold that having to provide an education brings, the people running Free Schools will never be able to make a decent profit from them.

According to insiders, the Education Secretary is also said to be looking at ways of saving money spent on the upkeep of school buildings by allowing Free Schools to not have any – as well as reducing the high costs of employing teachers by relaxing requirements for schools to employ at least some.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Toby Young – disabled children should be excluded from schools

Tough exams and six of the best from a well-oiled cane are keys to success says Michael Gove

BBFC – Michael Gove ‘too scary’ for under-12s

Jamie Oliver accuses Gove of being too starchy, tasteless and unhealthy for children

Michael Gove to scrap education in exams shakeup

Gove – free bibles to boost nutritional standards on school menus

Act Of Gove: an event beyond human control – often of a destructive nature – for which there is no legal redress

Government Baffled By Surprise 10% Fall In University Applications After Tripling Of Fees


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