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(satire – possibly)

The Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has threatened to sack Jeremy Hunt the Health Secretary after he gave a strong warning to incompetent NHS managers like himself that they cannot expect to keep their jobs if – like Mr Hunt – they presided over failings in healthcare.

Mr Hunt, writing in the Sunday Telegraph, said “proper accountability” was needed in the health service to ensure that failing managers like the Health Secretary were held to account for their incompetence:

Just as a manager wouldn’t expect to keep their job if they were unable to control their finances nor should I expect to keep mine now it turns out I’m about as effective at running the health department as a pair of rubber boots on a penguin.

The Patients Association also backed Mr Hunt’s comments, saying:

Managers and boards must be held accountable for what goes on within their trusts and appropriate action must be taken. However, it’s essential to the future development of patient care in the NHS that government health ministers like Jeremy – who couldn’t find their own arseholes with both hands and a radar – are shown the door.

The inquiry – which was established by the coalition in 2010 and chaired by Robert Francis QC – sat for 139 days, cost £10m and considered about a million pages of evidence before deciding Mr Hunt was about as useless as a pair of knickers on a kipper.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

British Association of Plastic Surgeons (BAPS) – public don’t take issue of breast surgery seriously enough

Minimum price plan to end cheap sales of Lib Dem MPs

Cameron to voters – here’s two pointers why I’m going ahead with NHS privatisation anyway ….

Doctors – many LibDems suffering from Electile Dysfunction & fear of impotence

Public backs plans to remove branding from party candidates

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation


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