An apology to the Rt Hon George Osborne MP
In several posts on my blog “Pride’s Purge”, I accept that I have made a number of untrue and defamatory statements about the Chancellor of the Exchequer Mr George Osborne.
In particular, I would like to unreservedly and sincerely apologise to Mr Osborne for any suggestions I may have made that Mr Osborne’s only job before becoming Chancellor was as a towel folder in Selfridges.
I now acknowledge that there was no truth to this statement whatsoever and I am happy to correct the position as follows:
Mr Osborne’s employment before he became MP and Chancellor was NOT as a towel folder. This is grossly misleading. After being rejected as a trainee journalist by the Times newspaper, Mr Osborne was temporarily employed by Selfridges, where his job was to pick up the towels that customers had examined but not bought, and re-shelve them, properly folded. I am therefore happy to make clear that Mr Osborne was employed as a towel RE-folder and at no point in his career was Mr Osborne employed as a mere towel folder in any department store anywhere in the UK including Selfridges.
I would therefore like to offer my sincere and unreserved apologies to Mr Osborne for suggesting otherwise and for any inconvenience and damage which this untrue statement may have caused him or his reputation.
I am also happy to correct the assertions I made on this blog that Mr Osborne may be a bit of a twat.
According to the Oxford English dictionary ‘twat’ is a vulgar synonym for a vagina.
As vaginas are rather nice and Mr Osborne quite clearly isn’t, I am sorry for any inconvenience and damage which this untrue statement in my blog may have caused.
.
LEGAL UPDATE: my legal advisers in the comments section below have pointed out it would be wise for me to also make a full and unreserved apology to vaginas everywhere for libellously comparing them to George Osborne – something I am more than happy to do.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
An explanation of George Osborne’s explanation of the EU bill rebate
Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.
More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high
Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Nomadic_Man said:
Don’t you think a full and frank apology to vaginas is in order?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: An APOLOGY to Rt Hon George Osborne MP from Tom Pride | Welfare, Disability, Politics and People's Right's | Scoop.it
Tom Pride said:
Oh yes. Thank you for pointing that out. I might have to do an update.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Atos Victims (@AtosVictims1) said:
Absolutely wonderful, LoL,LoL…
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Dear tom there are odd things going on my end. First i had an alert telling me of update to my carrier settings.. That was odd.
Next after googling ‘pretend jobs’ of which i have posted about on your blog pages.
I had chilling effect message which related to cease and desist order.
Next out of curiosity i went to conservative home. Site only to find it said i was logged in on there. Which is odd as i have never subscribed to that poxy site.
Now then.
Andrew Lilico: With £27bn more cuts to find, something’s gotta give. Why not the NHS ringfence?
Ok ref to the scameron wont cut the NHS it seems they are putting spin on this by saying that if you cant cut deficit without cutting NHS.
Next being the opportunists they are they are claiming that 80% tories are in favour of independant review of the press as if to say ir suggest that 80% ers are tories or something ., i dont know.
Ok re pretend jobs did you see the quote i posted about emploument centre where they claim to replicate companies environment in order to find the right candidate for jobs.
Wtf is that about?
I bet no one will notice this post.
Shame..
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Just say the tories are cnuts.
See (they are) nuts. Cant argue with that lord mont bitten and oirish boyz holmes ok yah?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
I see that starbucks have offered to pay a bit more than their fair share of corps tax cos of negative response to them, “we’ve listened to out customers” they said.
Maybe our hearing aids werent working the first time around.
So heres a question. Are you gonna pay up. The whole 4-5 years worth when you never paid a penny?
Or just top up what you and hmrc decide whats fair.
It might be an extra fiver you never know.
So how come georgie porgie after banging on about how hes gonna crack down on corps tax dodgers.. In autumn statement say hes gonna cut corps tax in couple yrs time.
LikeLike
jaynel62 said:
Thanks for your apologies to all vaginas Tom, Much appreciated. xx
LikeLike
Paul said:
Excellent.
LikeLike
minou999 said:
Maybe @rses are more correct and applicable for those having attended elite private boys schools but I’m buggered if I care . . .
LikeLike
paul8ar said:
a well deserved apology there, and ty for clarifying.
i wonder, if its govt policy to set impossible targets, pay huge sums to investigate why these aren’t achieved, then (with a shrug), to sell the now worthless item to a private company (see the NHS for details of this practice..) – could the same principles be applied to parliament?
ah, my bad- too late.
as you were.
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
This is what i mean. And no one gives a fuck about these virtual jobs or pretend jobs or whatever they are …workfare out of site out of mind eh?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Well ??
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Oh ha ha…
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Yeah yeah
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
…
LikeLike
Chris Tandy said:
Re-folding towels is as good a metaphor for Osborne’s approach to ruining (sorry, that should be ‘running’…) the British economy.
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Oh just shut up already .. Who gives a feck about poxy osbourne you dont have to make jokes about him. He is one. .. Can we move on pls?? There are people gonna be on the streets whilst housing assoc bosses are lining their pockets profiteering and phoney virtual jobs going on and all you lot can do is go tee hee isnt that osbourene a bit of chump.
Im sure thats going to help no one eh?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
????
LikeLike
Sabine Kurjo McNeill said:
Are you aware of Osborne’s coke habit, Tom?
See http://peterbellett.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/dear-prime-minister-again/
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
So how exactly is taking the piss out of osbourne going to help homeless families when shelter report 20 odd thousand families and kids are gonna be freezing whilst you lot are playing lets laugh at georgie porgie..
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
No. All i care about is homelessness. Call ne old fashioned but it seems a tad more important.
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Bob – I’m writing a blog trying to expose the vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings of the present government’s policies by the time-honoured method of exposing them to ridicule.
And what exactly are you doing about it?
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Yes Sabine – thanks for the link. I hope you’re not suggesting Gideon likes a bit of the old sherbert whizz bang snorted off the thigh of a high class hooker? That would be highly libellous. Allegedly.
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Since you asked i will tell you.
1 you want absurd?
Ok try this:
An organisation rents some space. They offer this space to employers to recreate their own workspace in detail, no expense to the employers at all so jobseekers get to play ar being at work so that employers can pick a candidate. Now then either the poss candidates are actually doing the employers real work ( this is part of the work program) meaning that its workfare going on behind closed doors, or its effing meaningless work., or as someone might call it.,, the workhouse..
That good enough for you tom?
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Why don’t you start a blog Bob? You can then write about all those things you’ve mentioned yourself?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Oh and if you like how about housing associations taking over. Homeless shelters and hostels and cutting the existing staff and leaving the duty of care out of the equation once they have got the contract. That any good to you?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Blog? Ha i tried that and no one noticed.
Besides hard to do that on a poxy phone.
And besides since i have already contributed to other investigative bloggers who found sone of my stuff useful and used it but was able to add a bit more legwork in cross referencing and research and actually meeting up with bods who are in the know.
I thought generally pointing in a direction hoping someone to take up the baton might help.. But what do i know..
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Writing criticisms in the comments section of blogs you think are a waste of time doesn’t help anyone all that much.
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Tom when you see people drowing you dont point out how wet the water is do you?
I meant no harm but you have no idea what i am up against. You try living in privatised so called care home where you get no peace 24/7 ..
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Bob – I’m doing my best!
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Of course you are tom and i thank you and ‘others’ for it ( you know who u r , u rogues) by the way hows the road building going? And the fambly home?
Oh maybe you know this alteady. The irish kids home mr wallace and all that? The attempt on the pipe smoker downfall.
Is that why that boat accident happened?
Well well .. So no ‘king’ then how sad.
LikeLike
misty53 said:
I think your really John Bishop in disguise! and he uses the word “twat” a lot, thats insulting to my pussy! keep up the good work xxx
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Good guess at my identity but unless I’m very much mistaken – unlike me – John Bishop has never been an officer in Lord Cromwell’s New Model Army. He’s also probably younger than my 350 years.
I might be wrong about that.
Apologies to your pussy.
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
You could have sent me a postcard from ireland ..
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
So we’re still friends then? And we both agree that osbourne is a twat..
LikeLike
Tony said:
I think you owe it to the vaginas of this world to make a personal apology where possible!
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Not so long ago remember someone lambasting a newspaper for puerile name calling about a respected blogger. Hmm
LikeLike
Old Codger said:
Twats are indeed rather nice, they are also useful. A theta (Ø) on the other hand …..
LikeLike
Montana Wildhack (@MsWildhack) said:
My vagina forgives you. It is a bit difficult finding a word that truly captures his essence, isn’t it?
LikeLike
The Infamous Culex said:
How about “turd” ?
LikeLike
minou999 said:
A gold-plated turd, still stinks though.
LikeLike
paul8ar said:
yeah mate – so much cr*p going on, its like every single thing the tories go near gets screwed up. probably because their specialist subject is being complete idiots. my biggest one is the austerity myth and how, based on that lie, they seedm to be able to get away with anything. its just greedy rich money addicts, and all the sh8t that goes with that , screwing up our lives, in my opinion.
LikeLike
paul8ar said:
and the next day the staff lost all their sick pay, holidays and paid breaks. don’t know when to back off these greedy capitalists, eh? or just sore losers?
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
Well that stinks but of course they could aleays blame the protestors, they wouldnt do that would they? Hmm
LikeLike
bobchewie said:
My concern is when any criticism of their miserable policies is seen as an attack by hard leftists or lone gunman nutcase or the enemy within.. Its all bloody odd, all they got to do is come forward and say ” we f•cked up”
LikeLike
incubusblog said:
Osbourne is a maggot. Plain and simple.
LikeLike
Pingback: Tories Blame Brown Administration for Failure of World to End « Pride's Purge
Pingback: So much for austerity, George: Osborne has DOUBLED number of Treasury staff on six-figure salaries since election | Atos Victims Group News
Pingback: The 12 Biggest Coalition Cockups of 2012 « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Satirists demand end to ministerial self-parody as ‘savage’ government gall begins to bite « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne blames too much ‘snow’ for his putting the UK at risk of a triple-dip recession « Pride's Purge
guy fawkes said:
could his towel folding have anything to do with him spouting a load of flannel?
LikeLike
guy fawkes said:
Tom
I like this site for it’s humourous take on ministers and their shortcomings, but as Bob chewie questioned, does it really address the issues? I think it alludes to them through the humour but does not address them, for anyone who wants relief from the fray, this is the place to come, if you really want to take up the mantle of activism other sites would be more appropriate I think.
LikeLike
Tom Pride said:
Never underestimate the power of humour.
LikeLiked by 1 person
bobchewie said:
Dear tom. Well I am surprised i thought guy didnt much care for me as we had a falling out on the void but heigh Ho.
You have a penchant for wit and irony I give you that . Maybe you are a wannabe PE writer. So what that’s up to you. Where I feel your strength lies is when you roll your sleeves up and get stuck in and put some footwork and research into into it. I know you admire some other bloggers like john and rico.
And I feel sure you can do just as well but in your own way. It’s a hard road to take I know. One of my faves was Paul foot who campaigned long and hard but never gave up for what he beleived. He phoned me on a few occasions when i must have driven him nuts on everything from bus crashes to corruption in computer games industry.
Sadly he’s not around now.
But as i say you are at your best when you produce blogs that make you stand still and wonder . But thats just my own view.
LikeLike
Pingback: Economists – surprise drop in government sanity fuels fears of triple-dip recession « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Scientists – no link between destruction wrought by Osborne and Asteroid 2012 DA14 « Pride's Purge
Pingback: 4G Auction – Osborne goes one better and shows he knows neither the price NOR the value of anything « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne attacks Osborne’s failure to keep Osborne’s pledge to keep AAA rating broken by Osborne | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne on the loss of UK’s AAA rating – “Heads I win, tails you lose!” | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne Blames NatWest Computer Glitch For Dire State Of The Economy | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne to help working families by making it easier for them to get pissed | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Is George Osborne secretly endorsing Liam Fox as next Tory leader? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Twitter Science – is George Osborne secretly endorsing Liam Fox as next Tory leader? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Tory treasury nincompoops indicate imminent U-turn on Osborne’s mortgage scheme | Pride's Purge
Pingback: George Osborne blames pesticides for disappearance of UK’s AAA status | Pride's Purge
Pingback: ATOS declare George Osborne unfit for work as Chancellor | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne claims Thatcher “over the worst” and well on way to “full recovery” | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Scientists artificially inseminate George Osborne after his reluctance to produce plan B | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Fraudster ATOS fined for supplying fake crip detectors for use in fitness for work tests | Pride's Purge
Pingback: UK narrowly avoids triple-dipstick chancellor | Pride's Purge
Pingback: IMF warn George Osborne’s idiocy still acting as drag on the economy | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Obama gets George Osborne’s name wrong | Pride's Purge
Pingback: BBC apologises for Osborne’s shockingly low cuts budget address before watershed | Pride's Purge
Jonathan Coombe said:
As a friend of mine once observed about somebody else who was rather unpleasant : “I’d call him a c*nt, only he lacks the charm and flexibility of one of those !”
LikeLike
Pingback: George Osborne ‘honoured’ to have royal baby named after him | Pride's Purge
nearlydead said:
Reblogged this on nearlydead.
LikeLike
Pingback: Bank of England – interest rates in boring economic matters by the general public to remain low | Pride's Purge
Pingback: ASDA apologise to axe murderers for George Osborne Halloween costume | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Osborne’s Autumn Statement in a nutshell: old people are too expensive. | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Autumn Statement: Britain can no longer afford workshy grannies, warns Osborne | Pride's Purge