An apology to the Rt Hon George Osborne MP
In several posts on my blog “Pride’s Purge”, I accept that I have made a number of untrue and defamatory statements about the Chancellor of the Exchequer Mr George Osborne.
In particular, I would like to unreservedly and sincerely apologise to Mr Osborne for any suggestions I may have made that Mr Osborne’s only job before becoming Chancellor was as a towel folder in Selfridges.
I now acknowledge that there was no truth to this statement whatsoever and I am happy to correct the position as follows:
Mr Osborne’s employment before he became MP and Chancellor was NOT as a towel folder. This is grossly misleading. After being rejected as a trainee journalist by the Times newspaper, Mr Osborne was temporarily employed by Selfridges, where his job was to pick up the towels that customers had examined but not bought, and re-shelve them, properly folded. I am therefore happy to make clear that Mr Osborne was employed as a towel RE-folder and at no point in his career was Mr Osborne employed as a mere towel folder in any department store anywhere in the UK including Selfridges.
I would therefore like to offer my sincere and unreserved apologies to Mr Osborne for suggesting otherwise and for any inconvenience and damage which this untrue statement may have caused him or his reputation.
I am also happy to correct the assertions I made on this blog that Mr Osborne may be a bit of a twat.
According to the Oxford English dictionary ‘twat’ is a vulgar synonym for a vagina.
As vaginas are rather nice and Mr Osborne quite clearly isn’t, I am sorry for any inconvenience and damage which this untrue statement in my blog may have caused.
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LEGAL UPDATE: my legal advisers in the comments section below have pointed out it would be wise for me to also make a full and unreserved apology to vaginas everywhere for libellously comparing them to George Osborne – something I am more than happy to do.
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Related articles by Tom Pride:
An explanation of George Osborne’s explanation of the EU bill rebate
Police called to George Osborne’s home after reports his lights on but nobody at home.
More People Believe In The Loch Ness Monster Than In Osborne’s Ability To Run Economy
Did you know the name Gideon is Hebrew for ‘Destroyer’. Really.
Countdown – red faces as contestant spells out naughty word from OBSOREN
ONS Figures – Osborne’s inflated claims reach new 3 year high
Loss-Making Osborne To Be Sold Off to US Conglomerate
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Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.
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Pride's Purge 
Don’t you think a full and frank apology to vaginas is in order?
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Oh yes. Thank you for pointing that out. I might have to do an update.
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Absolutely wonderful, LoL,LoL…
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Dear tom there are odd things going on my end. First i had an alert telling me of update to my carrier settings.. That was odd.
Next after googling ‘pretend jobs’ of which i have posted about on your blog pages.
I had chilling effect message which related to cease and desist order.
Next out of curiosity i went to conservative home. Site only to find it said i was logged in on there. Which is odd as i have never subscribed to that poxy site.
Now then.
Andrew Lilico: With £27bn more cuts to find, something’s gotta give. Why not the NHS ringfence?
Ok ref to the scameron wont cut the NHS it seems they are putting spin on this by saying that if you cant cut deficit without cutting NHS.
Next being the opportunists they are they are claiming that 80% tories are in favour of independant review of the press as if to say ir suggest that 80% ers are tories or something ., i dont know.
Ok re pretend jobs did you see the quote i posted about emploument centre where they claim to replicate companies environment in order to find the right candidate for jobs.
Wtf is that about?
I bet no one will notice this post.
Shame..
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Just say the tories are cnuts.
See (they are) nuts. Cant argue with that lord mont bitten and oirish boyz holmes ok yah?
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I see that starbucks have offered to pay a bit more than their fair share of corps tax cos of negative response to them, “we’ve listened to out customers” they said.
Maybe our hearing aids werent working the first time around.
So heres a question. Are you gonna pay up. The whole 4-5 years worth when you never paid a penny?
Or just top up what you and hmrc decide whats fair.
It might be an extra fiver you never know.
So how come georgie porgie after banging on about how hes gonna crack down on corps tax dodgers.. In autumn statement say hes gonna cut corps tax in couple yrs time.
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Thanks for your apologies to all vaginas Tom, Much appreciated. xx
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Excellent.
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Maybe @rses are more correct and applicable for those having attended elite private boys schools but I’m buggered if I care . . .
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a well deserved apology there, and ty for clarifying.
i wonder, if its govt policy to set impossible targets, pay huge sums to investigate why these aren’t achieved, then (with a shrug), to sell the now worthless item to a private company (see the NHS for details of this practice..) – could the same principles be applied to parliament?
ah, my bad- too late.
as you were.
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This is what i mean. And no one gives a fuck about these virtual jobs or pretend jobs or whatever they are …workfare out of site out of mind eh?
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Well ??
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Oh ha ha…
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Yeah yeah
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…
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Re-folding towels is as good a metaphor for Osborne’s approach to ruining (sorry, that should be ‘running’…) the British economy.
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Oh just shut up already .. Who gives a feck about poxy osbourne you dont have to make jokes about him. He is one. .. Can we move on pls?? There are people gonna be on the streets whilst housing assoc bosses are lining their pockets profiteering and phoney virtual jobs going on and all you lot can do is go tee hee isnt that osbourene a bit of chump.
Im sure thats going to help no one eh?
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????
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Are you aware of Osborne’s coke habit, Tom?
See http://peterbellett.wordpress.com/2012/07/25/dear-prime-minister-again/
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So how exactly is taking the piss out of osbourne going to help homeless families when shelter report 20 odd thousand families and kids are gonna be freezing whilst you lot are playing lets laugh at georgie porgie..
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No. All i care about is homelessness. Call ne old fashioned but it seems a tad more important.
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Bob – I’m writing a blog trying to expose the vices, follies, abuses, and shortcomings of the present government’s policies by the time-honoured method of exposing them to ridicule.
And what exactly are you doing about it?
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Yes Sabine – thanks for the link. I hope you’re not suggesting Gideon likes a bit of the old sherbert whizz bang snorted off the thigh of a high class hooker? That would be highly libellous. Allegedly.
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Since you asked i will tell you.
1 you want absurd?
Ok try this:
An organisation rents some space. They offer this space to employers to recreate their own workspace in detail, no expense to the employers at all so jobseekers get to play ar being at work so that employers can pick a candidate. Now then either the poss candidates are actually doing the employers real work ( this is part of the work program) meaning that its workfare going on behind closed doors, or its effing meaningless work., or as someone might call it.,, the workhouse..
That good enough for you tom?
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Why don’t you start a blog Bob? You can then write about all those things you’ve mentioned yourself?
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Oh and if you like how about housing associations taking over. Homeless shelters and hostels and cutting the existing staff and leaving the duty of care out of the equation once they have got the contract. That any good to you?
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Blog? Ha i tried that and no one noticed.
Besides hard to do that on a poxy phone.
And besides since i have already contributed to other investigative bloggers who found sone of my stuff useful and used it but was able to add a bit more legwork in cross referencing and research and actually meeting up with bods who are in the know.
I thought generally pointing in a direction hoping someone to take up the baton might help.. But what do i know..
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Writing criticisms in the comments section of blogs you think are a waste of time doesn’t help anyone all that much.
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Tom when you see people drowing you dont point out how wet the water is do you?
I meant no harm but you have no idea what i am up against. You try living in privatised so called care home where you get no peace 24/7 ..
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Bob – I’m doing my best!
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Of course you are tom and i thank you and ‘others’ for it ( you know who u r , u rogues) by the way hows the road building going? And the fambly home?
Oh maybe you know this alteady. The irish kids home mr wallace and all that? The attempt on the pipe smoker downfall.
Is that why that boat accident happened?
Well well .. So no ‘king’ then how sad.
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I think your really John Bishop in disguise! and he uses the word “twat” a lot, thats insulting to my pussy! keep up the good work xxx
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Good guess at my identity but unless I’m very much mistaken – unlike me – John Bishop has never been an officer in Lord Cromwell’s New Model Army. He’s also probably younger than my 350 years.
I might be wrong about that.
Apologies to your pussy.
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You could have sent me a postcard from ireland ..
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So we’re still friends then? And we both agree that osbourne is a twat..
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I think you owe it to the vaginas of this world to make a personal apology where possible!
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Not so long ago remember someone lambasting a newspaper for puerile name calling about a respected blogger. Hmm
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Twats are indeed rather nice, they are also useful. A theta (Ø) on the other hand …..
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My vagina forgives you. It is a bit difficult finding a word that truly captures his essence, isn’t it?
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How about “turd” ?
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A gold-plated turd, still stinks though.
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yeah mate – so much cr*p going on, its like every single thing the tories go near gets screwed up. probably because their specialist subject is being complete idiots. my biggest one is the austerity myth and how, based on that lie, they seedm to be able to get away with anything. its just greedy rich money addicts, and all the sh8t that goes with that , screwing up our lives, in my opinion.
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and the next day the staff lost all their sick pay, holidays and paid breaks. don’t know when to back off these greedy capitalists, eh? or just sore losers?
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Well that stinks but of course they could aleays blame the protestors, they wouldnt do that would they? Hmm
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My concern is when any criticism of their miserable policies is seen as an attack by hard leftists or lone gunman nutcase or the enemy within.. Its all bloody odd, all they got to do is come forward and say ” we f•cked up”
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Osbourne is a maggot. Plain and simple.
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could his towel folding have anything to do with him spouting a load of flannel?
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Tom
I like this site for it’s humourous take on ministers and their shortcomings, but as Bob chewie questioned, does it really address the issues? I think it alludes to them through the humour but does not address them, for anyone who wants relief from the fray, this is the place to come, if you really want to take up the mantle of activism other sites would be more appropriate I think.
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Never underestimate the power of humour.
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Dear tom. Well I am surprised i thought guy didnt much care for me as we had a falling out on the void but heigh Ho.
You have a penchant for wit and irony I give you that . Maybe you are a wannabe PE writer. So what that’s up to you. Where I feel your strength lies is when you roll your sleeves up and get stuck in and put some footwork and research into into it. I know you admire some other bloggers like john and rico.
And I feel sure you can do just as well but in your own way. It’s a hard road to take I know. One of my faves was Paul foot who campaigned long and hard but never gave up for what he beleived. He phoned me on a few occasions when i must have driven him nuts on everything from bus crashes to corruption in computer games industry.
Sadly he’s not around now.
But as i say you are at your best when you produce blogs that make you stand still and wonder . But thats just my own view.
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As a friend of mine once observed about somebody else who was rather unpleasant : “I’d call him a c*nt, only he lacks the charm and flexibility of one of those !”
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Reblogged this on nearlydead.
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