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(satire)

BBC Newsnight is set to identify the twenty-foot-long snake – which brought embarrassment to the Foreign Office after it emerged the department had spent £10,000 of taxpayers’ money on stuffing him – as Ken Clarke.

The elderly snake, who is thought to be at least 120-years-old, has been in the Foreign Office’s possession since he was presented as a gift to the UK in the 1980s – and since then he has spent most of his time hanging around government offices thoroughly pickled.

The Foreign Secretary Mr Hague had earlier refused to reveal the identity of the old snake but he did admit at the Conservative Party conference last month that despite the expensive renovation the elderly reptile was still looking the worse for wear.

A spokesman for the department however, said that Ken was regarded as a government asset because he reminded everyone how easy it could be to fool people into thinking nasty old Tory snakes can actually be quite cuddly and friendly.

According to reports, the government is set to hold an emergency meeting of COBRA tomorrow – where the problem of how to cover up from the public the fact that many old snakes are occupying top positions of government is due to be discussed.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

BBC Panorama investigates BBC Newsnight over BBC scandal of BBC cover-up over BBC scandal

MI5 vetted Savile. And decided paedophilia was nothing to worry about?

Scientists discover dim stars orbitting massive black hole at heart of BBC

BBC Denies It Was Aware Jimmy Savile Was A Northerner

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