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(I promise you this is not satire – hard as it may be to believe)

Criminals in south Wales and other areas of Britain are no doubt celebrating after the government’s decision to replace police helicopters with fixed-wing aircraft which can’t hover to pursue them or land to arrest them.

One authority, Dyfed-Powys Police Authority, has even officially objected to government plans to replace its helicopter with a fixed-wing aircraft and has pointed out that government ministers seem to have overlooked the fact that fixed-wing aircraft can’t hover and would not be able to pursue suspects. They would also be unable to carry out search and rescue and surveillance – or transport equipment, back-up officers, firearms, dogs or anything else to locations other than airfields with landing strips.

Unfortunately, despite the police authority’s best efforts to explain the technicalities of fixed-wing vs rotary aircraft –  government officials have decided to go ahead and replace the helicopters with planes anyway.

Presumably the government is hoping criminals will stand around landing strips long enough for the fixed-wing aircraft to land and arrest them.


I think I’m going to have to give up writing satire – the coalition government is doing it so much better than I ever could.


Other articles by Tom Pride:

London’s fire engines are now owned by one man – an old Etonian

Could this be the coalition government’s biggest cock-up yet?

Meet ALS – the new G4S (or how Delboy hoodwinked ministers out of £300m)

Controversial urine extraction method given go-ahead by government

Genealogists Confirm David Cameron Is A Bastard


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