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In what could be the biggest scandal to hit cycling since the Lance Armstrong controversy – British cyclist Andrew Mitchell has admitted to regularly being a dope while riding a bicycle.

The shocking admission comes after Mr Mitchell was caught red-handed by police using banned words on a bicycle in the centre of London on Wednesday night.

In a statement, one of the police officers said:

We first noticed the cyclist because his head was quite swollen, he was swaggering and more than a bit sniffy – very often indications that someone might be a dope. In this case it became obvious to us in a very short time that the cyclist in question was clearly tripping on massive doses of his own ego.

In a related development, Lance Armstrong has objected strongly to being compared to Mr Mitchell. In a statement, the 7 times Tour de France winner said:

I have competed as an endurance athlete for 25 years and I have never abused anything while I was cycling – unlike Mr Mitchell – who quite clearly has got so much shit stuck up his arse it’s affecting his memory.

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