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(satire – just about)

Kelvin MacKenzie, editor of the Sun at the time of the Hillsborough disaster, has offered the people of Liverpool his “profuse apologies” for being such an arrogant, self-important, jumped-up piece of shit.

MacKenzie said after the publication of the Hillsborough Independent Panel report yesterday about the 1989 disaster in which 96 Liverpool fans died, that he had discovered to his horror that it would have been far more accurate if he had written the headline “I Am A Lying Turd” rather than “The Truth“.

His first unequivocal apology in the 23 years since the notorious front page, which led to a mass boycott of the paper on Merseyside, came after the Hillsborough report concluded that the evidence pointed conclusively to Mr Mackenzie being an utter cock.

In a statement, MacKenzie said:

I offer my profuse apologies to the people of Liverpool for being a bit of a shit.

It has taken more than two decades, 400,000 documents and a two-year inquiry to discover to my horror that I am in fact a total prick.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Name the guilty. The Sun’s ‘source’ for its Hillsborough story was ….. Tory MP Sir Irvine Patnick.

Don’t think Chief Constable Bettison should resign over Hillsborough? You will when you read this

MP Louise Mensch quits to spend more time with the Murdoch family

Murdoch backs Boris after he shows readiness to be strung up like a puppet

IMPORTANT WARNING – tips on how to avoid mauling by dangerous breeds of PCs

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For more facts about the Hillsborough tragedy – have a look here:

Hillsborough Justice Campaign

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I don’t usually moderate the comments – but I’m going to make an exception in this case. Respectful comments only please – unless they’re about Mackenzie or the Sun of course!

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