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The Prime Minister, David Cameron, is this week expected to back a plan that he says will help boost the amount of people in employment by increasing the amount of people in unemployment.

A report by venture capitalist Adrian Beecroft has recommended that firms are given more flexibility to fire people so they will then be able to go on to hire a different set of people – or even the same set of people they sacked in the first place.

When it was pointed out that this would not actually create more jobs but would just rotate existing jobs amongst the same amount of people, a government spokesperson said:

Well yes – there aren’t any jobs at the moment obviously, mostly because of our woeful handling of the economy – but at least under these radical plans everyone would be able to have a go at having at least one of the few jobs that are available even if it’s just for a few days at a time – which let’s face it is better than nothing, isn’t it?

The government-commissioned Beecroft report is expected to recommend:

  • sacking lots of people to reduce unemployment
  • making it easier for firms to fire people so they can rehire them again more easily
  • reducing red tape so managers are encouraged to hire and fire staff on a whim
  • scrapping provisions in the Equality Act which make it more difficult for employers to sexually harass their staff
  • boosting the economy so employers will be able to hire someone in the morning and make them redundant again before lunch

A spokesperson for the Department for Business said the government was committed to boosting the number of jobs available by making sure more people are fired:

If employers are able to fire all their staff one day and then the very next day hire more people it’ll be a bit like juggling because if we can get the process moving fast enough, we’ll look like we’ve got all the balls in the air at the same time and unemployment will be reduced to virtually zero.

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