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The Prime Minister David Cameron has denied he is too relaxed in his job as Prime Minister – insisting he is as driven just as much as Margaret Thatcher was, most often by a chauffeur in a fleet of armoured Jaguar XJ Sentinel model saloons, escorted by Range Rover or Land Rover Discovery vehicles and police motorcycle outriders.

Mr Cameron was defending his style of government against claims he “chillaxes” too much and spends too much time playing games on his iPad instead of running the country – an accusation he said was untrue because he often listened to music and watched films on his iPad too.

The Prime Minister said:

I only play games on my iPad when I’m driven somewhere by my chauffeur – although I must admit I sometimes have a sneaky go during those tedious meetings with Clegg too. He’s so busy pacing the room and wringing his hands he never seems to notice what I’m doing.

Cameron was responding to reports that his former strategy adviser, Steve Hilton, had become disillusioned with his excessive enjoyment of the premiership for its own sake, and in defence of himself, the prime minister pointed to some of the more radical policies he has introduced – such as reducing the amount of time he spends playing Angry Birds and other innovative reforms like insisting all government ministers befriended each other on Facebook.

Asked about the reports that he takes too much time off, the prime minister said:

As Prime Minister I have not had time to read this stuff. I have been much too busy trying to get to level 10 of Diablo 3. It is an enormous privilege to do this job but it requires huge dedication and work, and I am completely dedicated to getting to at least level 20 by the end of the month.

On being called DVD Dave, he added:

It’s completely untrue that I spend my time only watching DVDs. I have some excellent CDs and videos too.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

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David Cameron is Jesus. Probably.

Is Cameron a Secret Stalinist? Or just a Toffee-Nosed Pillock?

Cameron tells unemployed – “Stop whinging and get daddy to find you a job!”

Comrades Clegg & Cameron Announce 5-Year Plan in Tractor Factory

Cameron announces emergency game of badminton to deal with fuel crisis

Cameron Privatises Britain’s Grannies. By Mistake. LOL

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