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I love this Facebook page. It’s just been set up and uses humour to good effect to make a good point:

Change your sexual orientation!

It concerns the so-called ‘Christian’ groups who tried to advertise on London buses their service to help people ‘realign’ their sexuality, sexual behaviour or orientation.

The FB group encourages people to send emails asking the Christian charity to help them change their sexuality –  from heterosexual to gay.

It has example emails people have written – some of them are hilarious.

If you’re on Facebook, why not have a look? And maybe send one yourself?

Here’s the email address of the so-called ‘Christian’ charity:


If you’re not on FB – here are some examples from the page of some of the emails people have sent:

From Colvin Stewart:

I understand that your organisation offers a service that changes the sexual orientation of individuals.
Is it possible for you to make me gay?
I think it looks pretty fabulous.
Colvin xxx

From Graham Crossan:

I’ve heard that the gays are alright now, so I’d like to try being a gay please. If I don’t like it, will you return me to my original ‘not gay but with occasional fleeting gay stirrings without actually wanting sex with a man’ state?
Also, could you make me old-fashioned theatre-gay rather than chatshow-gay? Of the different types of gay that I know about, they seem the most dignified.

From Ross Van Gogh:

Hello there,
I don’t think i’m gay, but I do enjoy the occasional pokey bum wank….do I qualify for your help?

From Amelia Easten:

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am very unhappy in life. My lifestyle choices just don’t seem to be fulfilling me, and although I pray to the Lord every evening, I feel that his loving gaze has strayed from my humble body.
Although I have tried everything – speed dating, blind dating, internet dating, and I not only attend but arrange the flowers of my local church’s singles nights, God still does not seem to send a man my way who isn’t commitment phobic, too attached to his mother or already married. I can feel my biological clock ticking away, as I’m already 38 and have been diagnosed with a lazy ovary.
There is only one thing I think could bring me happiness. My neighbor, Carmen, has been a close friend and confidant for many years. She has many times expressed a wish to take things to the next level, and also wants a child. I believe with her I could be truly happy serving the Lord, and bring a child into the world in a family environment suitable for bringing up another in the light of Jesus.
Please, help me. Turn me gay. I want to be able to love this good woman in the way she deserves.
God Bless, eagerly awaiting your help.

From Calum Calderwood:

Dear sir/madam,
I have been informed that you offer a service to help people realign their sexual orientation. I am becoming quite bored with straight-forward heterosexuality, and would like to pursue bisexuality, and perhaps even bestiality, so as to broaden my horizons. Would you be able to help me with this?

From Peter Higgins:

To Whom it may concern,

It is recently come to my attention that your organisation offers a service to change sexual orientation. I can’t tell you how much of a great relief this is! I have, since I can remember, been attracted to members of the opposite sex and this, I now realise, seems rather odd. The idea of different genders being romantically involved seems…unnatural. I have tried to become active within the gay community but have been significantly handicapped by this obscene attraction to females. Can you please help with this? If successful I will be recommending your ground-breaking work to friends and family.

Many thanks.

From Nick Durie:

I have an embarrassing problem. I want to know if you could help.
I am happily married. I have a child on the way. I am in a happy hetrosexual marriage – we had a civil ceremony last year.
I once had sex with a guy. Well, penetrative sex – I have had sex with three men if oral counts.
I miss those times. I don’t know what to do. I had thought it wasn’t a problem. Life just now is good. Me and my partner are well. I am well with her. She is due to give birth in August.
But I can’t help feeling that I am missing out.
Is there any way you could make me gay?
Thanks for your help.
Cheers now,
Nick Durie

From David Francis:

Does the clinic have some sort of brochure or portfolio showing the range of sexual orientations on offer?

From Debbie White:

Dear Sir/Madam,
I was delighted to hear that you are offering the incredibly valuable service which helps people to change their sexuality. I would be interested in trying this, as I feel it would help me in the problems I have experienced in my personal life.
I am, unfortunately, heterosexual. This has caused me much trauma and difficulty; do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a suitable guy when you study an arts degree? I look around my lecture halls and see numerous eligible, attractive young women, and yet the men are sadly lacking. I feel like I would have much more success in relationships if I were to become a lesbian.
Until now, I believed that sexuality was something you’re born with, but now I see, thanks to you, that it is a choice. Well, I choose to be gay and fabulous.
Hope you can help. Thanks

And here’s my attempt:

I’ve heard that God should be inside me but being a boring, heterosexual, middle-aged, middle-class guy – the thought of a big bearded guy in a long white frock entering me doesn’t appeal all that much to be honest.
However, I was happy to discover you offer a service which can realign people’s sexuality.
Please let me know how much this costs and approximately how long it will take to change me.
Also – would it be possible to have my sexuality realigned on-line to cut down on the costs of travel?


There are many more.

Well done everyone involved – excellent stuff.


Related articles by Tom Pride:

Not Tory! Post-Tory, ex-Tory and proud. Get over it!

A world full of war, hunger & man’s inhumanity to man and who does God punish? Tesco!

Scottish Conservatives Show Support For Oppressed Minorities By Electing Openly Tory Leader

Liam Fox is not gay


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