Tags
(satire)
Police officers angry with the coalition government’s plans to cut jobs and freeze pay will vote on whether they want the right to be able to arrest themselves for obstruction during their own strike action, the body representing them said on Thursday.
The Police Federation, which represents 135,000 low ranking officers in England and Wales, said the move to seek the right to kettle themselves during their own industrial action, showed its members were infuriated by the government’s austerity drive.
Like all public sector workers, police officers are facing a pay freeze and higher pension contributions and many believe the time is now right for officers to seek the right to allow themselves to prevent themselves from policing themselves on strike.
A Police Federation spokesman explained:
Officers genuinely feel we need the right to not police ourselves if we decide to go on strike. Or indeed not to police ourselves if we don’t decide to go on strike. Especially if we’re on strike. Or not, as the case may be.
However, even if members vote for the right to not police their own strike, the change would require the law to be amended and could be blocked by parliament for being too confusing.
A government spokesperson explained the legal and technical problems to allowing the police to take strike action:
It could turn out that the strikers would have to police the police or the other way round or something and that could create a situation where no-one would know what the f*** was going on, so it would be best all round if the police just continued their previous policy of attacking anyone they see on the street who looks a bit lefty without asking any questions.
In a partial climbdown, a government-commissioned report into police pay and conditions last week recommended wide-ranging changes which would allow serving officers to arrest themselves for obstruction, hit themselves on their heads with their own truncheons and taser each other.
.
Related articles by Tom Pride:
Met police loaned retired mounted officer to Rebekah Brooks
David Cameron could have been ridden by Rebekah Brooks, Downing Street admits
Labour MP Eric Joyce Reveals New Party Strategy For Fighting Tories
Murdoch Cuts Price of Sun on Sunday’s Bribes by Half
Out Of Control MPs To Be Fitted With ‘Propriety Tags’
Brutal Gang Leaders Force Nation’s Grannies Off Front Pages
Government – 3/4 Million Not Enough To Bribe a Lord
MP urges easing of banker smacking laws
.
Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.
.
By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a huge favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks:
Pride's Purge 
Pingback: Pride's Purge ~ an irreverent look at UK politics | Policing news | Scoop.it
Worse Still for the Police, Coalition lawyer and non-policeman Tom Winsor is gutting the Police Modus Operandi, outsourcing police work to private contractors on a rolling basis, and any officers with middle aged spread will face the sack (from my post of a few days previously). I think the police are likely to vote in solidarity and not make fools of themselves, and even work to rule and not kettle peaceful demos such as the one to save the NHS at the Cenotaph.
LikeLike
The Coalition gets worse. They propose to exploit the obese with discrimination in order to constructively dismiss Police Officers. Obesity is not always visible, and “middle-aged spread” affects many people, more often those of stocky build. The police do need their salaries. They marched around Parliament in huge numbers when Jacqui Smith deferred their annual pay-rise; they were not prepared to accept what was effectively a pay-cut and demanded the pay-rise to be awarded on the correct day and month! Coalition Pay-cuts for obese police officers will force them out of the service to a different job, and facilitate more rolling cuts to policing and the outsourcing of police services to private contractors.
I see the discrimination against the obese as part of the Coalition’s strategy to roll on wholesale privatisation of the police. Further to the strategy, the upper age restriction for making a police officer redundant will be removed, so that any officer at all can be made redundant in order to accommodate the rolling Coalition budget cuts. Too many valuable experienced older officers are already being forced out of the service well before retirement age. The proposed fast-tracking of officers who enter the service to senior ranks inc. Chief Super is a recipe for hiring gangsters to run the police. The police prefer to be managed by officers who’ve progressed up the each of the ranks from first joining on the beat.
Tom Winsor is a Lawyer and no policeman. He has recently been appointed by smirky May to make sweeping changes to the working conditions pay and regulations of police officers and staff. Winsor describes the existing police modus operandi as “unfair” in order to wheedle some support from officers, for propaganda purposes.
Britain has the best regarded Police Service in the world. The Coalition strategy behind closed doors will reduce the service to a fragmented rabble of unmanageable, unaccountable, fascist militarist regime thugs.
LikeLike
Boris Johnson allowed the introduction of machine guns to the Met Police, in 2009. The decision was a reaction to the fatal feuding between the Turkish criminal gangs Bombacilar and the Tottenham Boys. The shooting dead of rival gang-members and mistakenly identified Turkish people frightened London people.
To issue machine guns, baton rounds, water cannon and tear gas to the police is not the way we run our country. The principle exception has been the use of these weapons in the “Troubles” in Northern Ireland. Londoners have become fearful of the police as well as violent crime through the visibility of police carrying machine guns. The guns are an ineffective deterrent to criminal gangs, and harm community rapport with the police. Boris Johnson has not responded to public lobbying to take away the machine guns.
On Saturday 17th of March, peaceful protesters gathered at the Cenotaph to hold a demo and public meeting in an 11th hour effort to save the NHS before the Lords’ final reading of Andrew Lansley’s health bill on Monday. The Met police kettled the demonstrators, and dispersed them. People thought the police action was heavy-handed. Two rollicking officers where pictured with Heckler & Koch semi-automatic sub-machine guns. The bearing of the machine guns added to the intimidation of the peaceful protest.
I think we should report on and discuss the issues widely in the media, and the newspapers.
http://storify.com/DrNoCuts/save-the-nhs
LikeLike
Pingback: Police – we won’t stand for racism. We’ll probably stay sitting. « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Private Security Guards Prevent Dangerous Photograph From Being Taken of Olympic Venue « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Rooftop missiles to target suspicious bus and tube passengers during Olympic Games « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Fighter Planes Scrapped After Tests Reveal Government Prone To Unreliability And Frequent U-Turns « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Government Retirement Age To Be Raised From 5 To 67 years « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Unemployment – government announces £1bn workfare scheme for unemployed UK nuclear submarines « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Cameron – Young To Lose Housing Benefit After Atrocious Penalty « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Al Qaeda affiliate G4S pins down thousands of UK troops in remote Stratford province « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Shake-up of welfare payments includes plans to send widowed parents to Afghanistan « Pride's Purge
Pingback: IMPORTANT WARNING – tips on how to avoid mauling by dangerous breeds of PCs « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Met apologises for hiring police officers without asking their names « Pride's Purge
Pingback: City centres turned into no-go areas by gangs of troublesome Tory MPs say police « Pride's Purge
Pingback: UNCOVERED! Shadowy ring known as ‘commissioners’ in covert plan to take control of police « Pride's Purge
Pingback: The 12 Biggest Coalition Cockups of 2012 « Pride's Purge
Pingback: Tories Pledge to Drop Human Rights Act And Be Themselves More By Stopping Pretending They Give a Toss | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Secret Courts – government accepts amendment providing for painful wedgies if anyone tells | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Police spend FOUR WEEKS tracking down mother to shake her hand after she joked about egging PM on Facebook | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Miners agree to be beaten up today in honour of Margaret Thatcher | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Police to shift crime fighting focus away from shagging hippies to catching criminals | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Police to shift crime fighting focus away from shagging hippies to catching criminals » Alternative News Network
Pingback: Theresa May Announces Critical Thinking To Become Class C Drug | Pride's Purge
I might have actually got my mother to believe this if you hadn’t used ‘truncheon’ in place of ‘nightstick’, the police being that infamous for their incompetence.
LikeLike
Pingback: On-the-spot fines for being common or poor come into force | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Government vows to crack down on protesting toddlers after hundreds refuse to go to bed | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Million of UK’s lowest paid employees to be classed as ‘not wretched enough’, says DWP | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Theresa May – senior Tories exempt from public order offences if wearing bicycle clips | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Met drop Shapps investigation. Police running scared of Tories after plebgate? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Met drops Shapps investigation. Police running scared of Tories after plebgate? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Proof that the Metropolitan Police is being privatised? | Pride's Purge
Pingback: UK government mulls abolition of death penalty for non-possession of firearms in a taxi | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Tories announce tough new regime of 30-second half-hearted apologies for serious crimes | Pride's Purge
Pingback: Crime falls to 30 year low as figures show few in UK have anything left worth stealing | Pride's Purge