A brutal gang of thugs has forced the nation’s grannies off the front pages so they can rob them of their pensions out of sight where no-one could see them. It is believed that immediately after the robbery, they then went on to demand money from groups of drinkers as well.
The leaders of the gang mercilessly forced the grannies to the back of the tabloids, grabbed their money and forced them to hand over their pension books, which it is thought they will use to continue to rob the OAPs of a proportion of their future payments. The heartless gang then went on to make a daredevil robbery of groups of drinkers, who were trying to drown their sorrows after learning of the tragic loss of a much-loved member of the medical community, who, in a bizarre twist, is believed was also a victim of the same gang.
The police, who have faced criticisms that they have not been doing enough to prevent the thugs’ pillage of the valuable assets of the country, have recently announced they are looking for ways to put a stop to the leaders of the gang, known only by their nomenclatures of DC Smug and NC Orange.
It is believed the group of criminals, known as the Bullingdon Gang, are based in the Chipping Norton area of Oxfordshire. But it has also been revealed that for the last two years the criminal gang have been robbing other vulnerable people all around the country, such as the disabled, the sick and the very young, in order to finance a lifestyle of luxury and wealth they and their friends have become used to.
One of the grannies, an elderly lady victim of the gang, vowed to fight for justice and explained how she would like the problem to be dealt with:
If I get hold of any of ’em I’ll string ’em up by their balls….
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