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The House of Lords last night voted 330 to 262 against showing themselves a report which outlines the risks of the government’s controversial NHS reform bill.  

The Lords also accepted an amendment making it compulsory for peers to put their fingers in their ears and go lalala whenever concerns about the effects of the reforms are mentioned.

Health Minister Earl Howe said listening to criticisms from professional bodies representing doctors, nurses and other healthcare professionals could hold-up the bill and ‘prove fatal’ to the government’s aims of reforming the NHS so it can provide a more comprehensive and efficient way of delivering cash from private healthcare companies directly into MPs pockets:

It’s essential we make sure we don’t bother to listen to any of the concerns by healthcare professionals because if we do, we would have to drop the bill and then what would happen to all those lucrative investments and directorships of private healthcare companies we’re all making so much of our dosh from?

The Health and Social Care Bill – which is now likely to become law – would increase competition and put money into the pockets of the many MPs and Lords who have investments in companies which are likely to make massive profits when the reforms are implemented.

Ministers say the changes are vital to help the NHS cope with the demands of an increasingly ageing population of feckless MPs and Lords, the rocketing costs of new drugs and treatments for their unhealthy lives of luxury, the impact of other lifestyle factors, such as obesity from drinking too much champagne and eating too much rich food and the demands of an increasingly greedy generation of politicians who all want to make as much as they can by privatising everything in sight.

The amendment passed by the Lords calls for MPs and peers to divert attention from criticisms by healthcare professionals and instructs members to avert their eyes or cover their ears whenever anything negative is mentioned about the reforms.

The amendment obligating peers to cover their ears and sing lalala loudly and to shout ‘I can’t hear you I can’t hear you’ should such action be necessary was also passed but a clause which would have obliged MPs and peers to flounce out of any room where criticisms of the bill were being mentioned was narrowly defeated.

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Related articles by Tom Pride:

Lib Dems back euthanasia as party votes to destroy NHS and itself

Virgin Rail Set To Improve Children’s Health Services With Overcrowding & Exorbitant Prices

The media is wrong. The LDs didn’t rebel against the NHS bill.

Lib Dems Vote To Support Scottish Independence By Privatising NHS in England

Lib’ Dem’s Win Major Concessions From Tories Over NHS Bill Punctuation

Cameron to voters – here’s two pointers why I’m going ahead with NHS privatisation anyway ….

RIP NHS 1948 – 2012

Cameron Organises Summit With Himself On NHS

NHS Reforms – Doctors No Longer To Diagnose and Treat Sickness

Cameron – NHS Privatisation Doesn’t Mean NHS To Be Privatised

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