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The government has blamed a massive yearly 14% shock rise in homelessness on the effects of a huge solar flare hitting the Earth.

The eruption on the surface of the sun, known as a coronal mass ejection (CME), has led to what scientists have described as a “perfect storm” of rising solar particles, which according to the government have in turn caused the biggest increase in a decade in people losing their homes.

A spokesman for Number 10 denied the coalition government’s policies were to blame for the hike in the number of people officially classed as homeless in England, and said the real cause was the massive amounts of solar particles hitting the Earth and the failure of the previous Labour government to protect against them:

Bankers in particular have been very badly hit by the irresponsible and risky activities of the sun, which the previous Labour government did nothing to regulate againstand that is why we have decided to continue bailing out the banks with billions of taxpayers money rather than helping hard-up homeowners.

The government spokesperson also warned the solar radiation caused by the storm was likely to have other negative affects:

Solar storms can also cause all kinds of other problems, such as rises in crime and VAT, lengthening of hospital waiting times, as well as affecting medical treatments by making them more expensive. People should also not be surprised to see an increase in negative economic data caused by the solar storm and much more greed and lies from government ministers as a result of the galactic radiation.

Such sun storms last seriously affected the UK in the 1980s, where massive rises in unemployment and greed were blamed on unusual solar activity. And in 1986, a strong solar storm knocked out the British Gas Board, leaving over 62 million people in the UK with higher bills and an over-expensive and extremely unstable gas supply system, something which British Gas till today has been unable to recover from. Similar failures in UK supplies of water and electricity, as well as communications and rail services have also all suffered from similar disruption from the sun’s activities.


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