Bowing to pressure that it should be doing more to stimulate the flatlining economy, the coalition government has announced an initiative to boost economic activity by forcing millions of sick and disabled people to work for free in private companies.
In a variation of the government’s ‘workfare’ programme to be known as ‘workcare’, sick and disabled people are to be given to private companies such as Tesco and McDonalds so they can be used as slave labour in order to boost their profits.
A spokesperson for the government explained the economic reasoning behind the policy:
Since we’ve managed to completely flatline the economy due to our overambitious austerity measures, we can’t cut taxes to help our richest party donors, so we’ve decided to give them the free use of the country’s sick and disabled to use as unpaid labour in their firms instead.
The spokesperson went on to explain that, unlike the government’s plans to privatise the NHS, the initiative was not likely to prove unpopular with voters:
We have done extensive research and we have discovered that most voters are in fact not dying of cancer or registered disabled, therefore we believe that most of the electorate are unlikely to give a shit about what we do to people who are.
The spokesperson however also said the government was sure many dying and disabled people would also themselves be supportive of the policy and would be glad to be given equal opportunities to gain experience of being exploited in the job market place just like many able-bodied people:
Instead of having to lie around in wheelchairs or on hospital beds with drips in their arms all day, we are certain that terminally ill cancer patients and the registered disabled will be more than happy to be used as slaves by our biggest party donors in order to boost our party coffers.
While some people are ‘celebrating’ the withdrawal of large firms from the government’s work experience scheme, please remember the government has also just passed legislation which allows them to send terminally ill patients as well as registered disabled people to work as slave labour in private companies for indefinite periods of time.
See here for more information:
Related articles by Tom Pride on this subject:
Government To Promote Equal Workplace Opportunities By Allowing The Disabled To Work As Slaves For Tesco’s Too
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