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Pay attention please. This is the most important article I have ever written.

Not least because if it works it could make me rich.

I have come up with a sure-fire way to help the Royal Bank of Scotland – and other loss-making banks – cut their losses by BILLIONS. Yes! Billions!!

It’s clever, it’s neat – it’s simple even – but no-one in the banking industry seems to have thought of it.

However, I may need your help in getting them to listen to me.

OK. Here’s my idea. It’s a bit technical – especially if you’re a top banker – because it means doing a few sums which they’re obviously not very good at – but bear with me.

OK

Here we go.

Let’s take RBS as an example.

They have just announced an enormous loss of 2 billion pounds.

Apparently this is a surprise.

Well – imagine if I could tell them how they could cut their losses by half? Yes. A 50% reduction in losses – with a quick simple action which can be done at a stroke of a pen.

Too good to be true?

Reduce their losses by a staggering 1 BILLION!

Yes. It’s possible. Here’s how.

Let’s take it slowly, so even top bankers can follow it.

2-1=1

Agreed?

Now, RBS bank is making a loss of 2 billion.

But they’re paying out bonuses of 1 billion.

So if they didn’t pay out the bonuses they would make a loss of only 1 billion!!

(They can do that remember, because these are only bonuses – not salaries.)

All they have to do, to reduce their losses by half, is to not pay out any bonuses. Just for one year. That’s all. And they will save a billion (less a couple of million paid to me for the idea of course!)

It’s brilliant!! (even if I do say so myself)

Now. All we have to do is to contact the top brass of the RBS to let them know how to go about it (and make sure they know who to pay the consultation fee to – me.)

This is where you come in.

Here’s the RBS page for what they call their ‘ideas bank’:

http://www.rbs.co.uk/global/customer-charter/g1/ideas-bank.ashx

Please send this message to them – or if you can make one up better than mine – be my guest. (But please remember to mention it’s me they should pay for the idea!!)

Dear RBS
Mr Thomas Pride has found a way to cut your losses by half!
Simply don’t pay out any bonuses this year.
This will save you a BILLION.
Because 2-1=1.
Yours,
A taxpayer
PS Mr Pride will be happy to accept a couple of million as a fee

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Now. Anyone know how you go about buying a Spanish villa? They’re very cheap these days I’ve heard.

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Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.

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