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The government has announced a new policy aimed at creating equal workplace opportunities for the terminally ill and the disabled which will enable them to be used as slave labour by firms like Tesco’s just like everyone else.

A spokesperson for the Department of Work & Pensions explained the government’s so-called workfare policy of allowing the unemployed to be used as unpaid workers by large private corporations would now be extended to the disabled and the terminally ill:

We are keen to show how seriously we take equal opportunities in the workplace for the most vulnerable members of our society, and that is why we are giving people such as terminally ill cancer patients and the disabled the same opportunities to do mindless, exhausting work with no pay for large private companies like Tesco’s and McDonald’s just like everyone else is forced to do.

The spokesperson went on to explain that while the government understands that terminally ill patients and the disabled would like to have the same opportunities to be exploited as everyone else, they are also aware that their needs could be different:

That is why, unlike other poor people, we are putting no limit on the amount of time the disabled and the sick can work as slaves. We understand that just like everyone else, perhaps more so, these people need to feel they are making a useful contribution to society and that is why we are making sure they will have every last ounce of work squeezed out of them in the name of profit before they die of exhaustion. That’s the right – and caring – thing to do.


I’ve got a problem. I’m running out of words.

I used the word outrageous when the government decided that cancer patients on chemotherapy would now have to undergo ‘fit for work’ tests or face having their benefits taken from them.

I used the word disgusting when people who were officially designated by doctors as disabled, including registered blind people for example – started having their benefits taken away from them because they were told they were fit for work.

I used the word terrible when the government decided to make the unemployed work for free for private companies like Tesco’s and McDonalds.

So please tell me. What word am I supposed to use now the government has decided that the permanently disabled and the terminally ill (yes- that’s terminal, as in dying) will have to work – without any pay – for those same big companies?

Any suggestions?


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