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David Cameron has reacted to criticisms that he has been regularly lying in his answers at Prime Minister’s Questions Time by saying the country is no longer able to afford universal state provision of facts to the public.

In a statement, Mr Cameron defended his shameless manipulation of facts by explaining:

In times of serious government crisis such as we are facing at the moment, it is essential that we do the sensible thing and cap the amount of truth we are providing to the public.

Mr Cameron also made a point of praising his coalition partners, the Liberal Democrats, for the part they have played in reducing what he called “out-of-control” state support for public awareness:

I’d like to single out Nick Clegg in particular for his unfaltering commitment to our joint aim of furthering my BS agenda and for his willingness to prevaricate and mislead not only his own supporters but the country as a whole in our pursuit of creating a less well-informed, more ignorant society.

The Prime Minister also refuted claims by the opposition that his government was being particularly economical with the truth and claimed the precedent for cutting state provision of information to the wider public had actually been set by the previous Labour government:

When we took over we very quickly realised we were facing a massive deficit in truth which had been created by the previous Labour government. That is why my government is determined not to be distracted in our aims of hoodwinking as many of the population as we possibly can before they wake up to the fact we’re just a bunch of lying tossers. Just like Labour managed to be for the 13 years they were in power.

An opposition spokesperson refuted the Prime Minister’s claims that Labour would also cut public access to reality just as much as the government if it were in power:

Of course we would have to lie but the government is making cuts to the truth too fast and too deeply. We would reduce the truth deficit by lying to the public over a much longer period of time.

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