Tags

, , ,

(satire)

In an astonishing speech, Ed Miliband has accused Alex Salmond of being a Scottish Nationalist and even planning for Scotland to eventually be independent from the rest of the UK.

Speaking in Glasgow, the Labour leader shocked political pundits by saying Scotland’s First Minister should come clean and admit to Scottish voters that his real agenda was to pursue policies that would inevitably lead to the splitting up of the United Kingdom.

But in a strongly worded statement issued immediately after Mr Miliband’s speech had finishedMr Salmond attempted to fully address the Labour leader’s serious charges. In a detailed defence of his position, the Scottish leader said:

Aye.

However, the tough statement didn’t deter the Labour leader from continuing his barrage of accusations against the 52-year-old MSP.  In several newspapers today, Mr Miliband repeated his startling allegations:

Why can’t Mr Salmond answer this simple question – why is it you have never denied supporting full independence of Scotland from the UK?

Experts say rumours of Mr Salmon’s alleged preference for independence have been circulating for some time but it is significant that the Scottish Leader has never issued a full rebuttal of the grave insinuations.

In the same controversial speech, Mr Miliband also dramatically claimed he had evidence that David Cameron was in all likelihood actually ‘quite right-wing’ and ‘probably a Tory’ and stated that he was convinced the British Prime Minister was possibly pursuing what he called a ‘highly conservative’ agenda.

However, in a move which surprised many experts, the Labour leader commended the Liberal Democrat leader Mr Clegg for being true to the spirit of British democracy by having what he called ‘no agenda at all other than getting into power’ and praised the Liberal Democrat leadership for finally being honest with the electorate by showing everyone what ‘a right bunch of unprincipled knobs’  they actually in reality were.

.

Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so fire away.

.

By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a huge favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks: