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Outspoken House of Commons star Andrew Lansley was “lost for words” after being crowned the winner of Channel 5’s Big Brother for his policy of forcing all NHS patients to watch tape-loops of his face at the foot of their beds.

Despite being embroiled in controversy during the political reality show, the well-known fan of fast food received the most public votes in last night’s finale, beating runner-up Education Secretary Michael Gove to the title.

Lansley, who broke down in tears when he was named as the winner, was a prominent figure in the latest series, sparking a huge argument by not only having his face on tape loops played continuously to NHS patients, but also for allowing fast food companies to dictate government health policy and taking essential benefits away from sick and disabled people. He also has a love/hate relationship with cancer patients after forcing them to undergo ‘fit for work’ tests while they undergo chemotherapy.

Earlier in the programme, cat-hater Theresa May, Selfridge’s towel-folder George Osborne and aristocratic fifth cousin to the Queen David Cameron were all evicted from the House.

Education Secretary, Michael Gove said he had expected to win after introducing plans to allow the military to ‘teach’ school children and write his own forward to the Bible which would be distributed to all schools.

Home Secretary Theresa May, came third for her policy of throwing out all legal immigrants who owned cats. She said it was a “massive achievement” not to have been nominated by her fellow House of Commons mates to face a public vote of confidence despite crime rising under her short tenure for the first time in 17 years.

Previous Big Brother winners during their tenures in the House have included Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair in the UK as well as Ronald Reagan and George W Bush in the US version known as ‘I’m An Idiot –  Get Me Out Of the White House!’.

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For an article on why Labour and not the Tories or Liberal Democrats should be the so-called ‘party of civil liberties’, see here:

Labour Should Be The Party of Civil Liberties

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See here for more articles by Tom Pride on Andrew Lansley.

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