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A newly-released UK-wide survey of consumer spending by middle and low-income families reveals that sales of ocean-going luxury vessels to the poorest 10% of parents has been drastically hit by the recession.

The survey revealed that rising prices are resulting in lower income households cutting their spending on items such as ocean liners, luxury catamarans and exclusive ‘dreamliners’.

A government spokesperson said the government was so concerned by the lack of spending on luxury yachts by households in the lowest tenth of incomes that it was already planning ways to make it possible for all families in the country to spend more on private cruise liners:

In times of recession it’s very important for the government to prioritise spending, and that’s why we are making sure that luxuries such as education and health will make way for more essential things, such as luxury yachts for the royal family.

When asked how lower and indeed so-called ‘squeezed middle’ income families would be able to contribute to the purchase of a luxury yacht for the royal family when they barely have enough to buy themselves food or pay the household bills, the government spokesperson explained:

We understand the difficulties many families are facing at this time of hardship but we want to ensure everyone is able to contribute equally  – and that is why we’re taking parent’s hard-earned tax money at source and using it for the upkeep of a royal yacht before they can waste it on unnecessary things like food or heating for their children.

The strength of feeling of parents at their difficulties in being able to provide their children with custom-built ocean-going vessels was made apparent by the wording of the answers given to questions in the survey. One mother, when asked how much of her budget she regularly puts aside for seafaring cruising, replied:

Are you taking the piss? I’ve hardly got enough to put sodding food on the table for the kids, never mind anything else, you prick.

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