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The Health Secretary Andrew Lansley today tried to allay the fears of health professionals and experts about his plans to increase the number of private patients being treated by the NHS by claiming the number of private patients being treated by the NHS would actually decrease after they were increased.

In a statement on his much criticised plans to reform the NHS, the health Secretary addressed the criticisms of his plans head-on:

Many people will think that on the face of it, it looks as though increasing private activity in NHS will increase private activity, but it won’t at all. It will actually decrease private activity.

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Oh FFS. I give up.

How am I supposed to satirise that kind of statement? I mean, Lansley actually said it.

Just like Clegg said that tripling tuition fees would make them more affordable.

What next?

Increasing crime means it’s actually decreasing?

High inflation means prices are getting lower?

Rising unemployment means it’s going down?

The main question for me is this – why isn’t the opposition making mincemeat out of these kinds of statements?

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