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In a change of heart, Conservative MP Nadine Dorries, whose sex education bill would have required sex education classes to include advice on the ‘benefits of abstinence’, has decided that pulling out at the last minute is the best way to lower the rate of teenage pregnancies and protect against sexually transmitted diseases in young people.

The controversial MP for Mid Bedfordshire’s bill, due to be debated in the House of Commons on Friday, would have required schools to offer extra sex education classes to girls aged 13 to 16, but in a statement, Ms Dorries said she had decided withdrawal is a better method to ensure abstinence than expecting teenagers to ‘just say no’ to sex:

I have to be realistic and accept that many of the members in the house would be unlikely to be able to support the idea of sexual abstinence even for the duration of one debate, and so I have decided that pulling out completely, even at the last minute, is a better method than partial withdrawal.

Dorries’s sex education bill had angered feminists, humanists and pro-choice activists, and in a statement, an opposition spokesperson expressed satisfaction at the dropping of the proposals:

The woman’s such a joke that we just couldn’t stop ourselves coming out with extremely bad smutty puns every time we were asked to comment on the proposals. It was getting so hard, we’re relieved Ms Dorries has finally decided to drop them. See what I mean? Sorry.

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