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Britain’s well-loved culinary institution the Little Fat Chef, also known as Antony Worrall Thompson, has blamed over-reliance on 5-finger discounts from his main food and drink suppliers for the financial problems he is experiencing at his string of restaurants.

In a statement, a spokesperson for the Little Fat Chef announced plans for lay-offs in order to slim down the sticky-fingered TV chef’s considerably over-stretched body:

Antony’s having to lay off consuming quite as much posh wine and food as he used to now that he’s having to pay for it, but by sacking a lot of his staff he’ll make sure he won’t be going without, unlike the loyal people he’ll be making redundant.

Mr Worral Thompson, who is famous for philanthropic work such as supporting the rights of international tobacco companies to give people cancer, as well as being a tireless fundraiser for charitable organisations such as the Conservative Party, has successfully lead a string of restaurants and pubs repeatedly into bankruptcy over the years since he came to public prominence on the TV show Ready Steady Crook.

Commenting on the Little Fat Chef’s statement, Mr Worral Thompson’s main supplier, Tesco’s, has firmly placed the blame for its own slump in the Christmas period on weak sales in its important TV chef sector, saying:

Judging by the huge losses in supplies of food and drink we’ve been making due to Mr Thompson’s habit of giving himself regular 5-finger discounts at our stores, we’re not surprised the greedy bastard’s having to downsize…….

 But Mr Worral Thompson’s spokesperson dismimssed the criticisms from Tesco, saying:

Anthony’s a Tory so he believes people should be able to help themselves when they have difficulties. Which is exactly what he did in Tesco’s. Helped himself.

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See this related post by Tom Pride:

Antony Worrall Thompson’s recipe for hard-up millionnaires – purloined steak with potato gratis and poached eggs

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That was the satire. Here are the facts:  

Millionnaire AWT, a Tory party fundraiser, was caught 5 times stealing food and wine from Tesco’s worth around £100. He got off with a warning.

Nicolas Robinson, a 23-year-old student, was arrested for stealing water worth £3.50 from Lidl during the London Riots. He was given a 6 month prison sentence.

One law for the rich, another law for the rest of us?

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